Hello, Thinking-Reed

I'm reviewing "Invalid Item"  as part of "WDC 14th Birthday Sr. Mod. Challenge" . I have also abandoned my usual reviewing template for something a bit more festive for this birthday week.

Plot: A brief description of Bevis, the Story of a Boy and the effects it had on the reader.

Characters: Since this is more of an essay, I will simply comment that you described Bevis very clearly, enough that I had a pretty decent idea of who his is. It sounds like quite an interesting story.

Suggestions:

"What comes through in his writing (,)" - I think there needs to be a comma there...maybe. There were other places with missing commas, but I'm sure you can find them in your next edit.
"There are long conversations between the boys which are reported"(this sentence feels a tad awkward. Perhaps reword)

Final thoughts: This story reminded me of when I was growing up. We lived in the countryside and I had no one to play with. I ended up being left to my own devices in the forest behind our house - which was amazing. Those were the days when a kid could walk out of the house with a knife and a box of matches and the only thing the parents would say was, "Don't burn the backyard down or cut yourself".

Well, done on your entry. I like it very much

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Bob the Birthday Warm Fuzzy hopes you remember that all comments or suggestions are given with the intention of being helpful. Feel free to use or disregard anything you wish.

Have a great day and write on!
Robyn


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .