This is a really cute story about the three girls. I really like how you dealt with something that is definitely an issue in schools (bullying) in a fun manner. The way Ellen handled Brenda by not fighting and actually finding a way to best her without being mean was awesome!

That being said, the writing was stilted in a few places and I felt like I never really got to know your characters. I know Ellen wants to be a writer, but how old is she? What grade is she in school? What else can you tell me about her? What about Jamie? What else can you tell me about her? And her brother Timmy? I'd like to know more about him. Finally the only thing I know about Brenda is that she's a bully. I don't know if you were limited on the amount of words you could use, but I'd love to know more about these characters.

And lastly, I have a few grammar and punctuation comments. You do not have to use these, but they were some of the things I noticed as I was reading. One thing you should remember is people speak in contractions so that's always a good thing to write in.

You might want to make the font a bit bigger, the smaller font is not always easy to read.

Move the word count to the end of the story.

Bold or center your title if you’re putting it in the body.

okay girls?"  The –okay comma girls; remove the Â

Everything is good—Everything’s

Jamie wanted her brother's secret, secret.—this sentence is awkward. Try—Jamie had wanted her brother’s secret to stay that way. Or Jamie hadn’t wanted her brother’s secret to get out.

Here is your—Here’s

saying, "I'm sorry." I have—‘I’m sorry’?

home. How can—remove Â

"then she—Then

mouthed, "you'll –You’ll