Hello, Shady Lady of the Blue Sea

I'm reviewing "So long Stan"  as part of "WDC 14th Birthday Sr. Mod. Challenge" . I have also abandoned my usual reviewing template for something a bit more festive for this birthday week.

Plot: Anne Marie rebels against society with a lead singer from a hardcore band, but finds the thrill wearing away.

Characters: Having see many kinds of stories on WdC, I'm guessing this was a flash fiction. If you were limited with word count, I like that you still managed to get some of her personality out there, things like "laughing at the naysayers". If you ever consider expanding this story, she seems like an interesting character to explore.

Suggestions:

There could be two ways to look at this. First, sticking to the short story convention - you need a comma after "against a wall(,)" You might also consider separating the first sentence into two. It runs on a little at the moment.
The second approach - I don't know why, but I had flashes of this as a poem (granted I've been writing poetry for two days). Maybe something like a Blitz poem or even free verse - which would nicely reflect your theme of rebellion.

Final thoughts: I like how much description you packed into such a small space!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Bob the Birthday Warm Fuzzy hopes you remember that all comments or suggestions are given with the intention of being helpful. Feel free to use or disregard anything you wish.

Have a great day and write on!
Robyn


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .