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Hi there passionate , 
 
I am ♫~ Kenword~♫ , a fellow author on Writing.com (WdC), and I would like to welcome you to this creative site for writers of all levels.

I chose  "World of the Young"  to read from the Review A Newbie Forum of WdC. I enjoyed reading your poem and I am delighted to discuss your work.
 
My review is based solely on impressions and feelings your poem inspired. While I may suggest some minor revisions, I prefer to lend my feelings and impressions in the hopes that they may be a help and an encouragement. Please take what you think is appropriate and disregard the rest.
 
 FIRST IMPRESSION
 
There is a powerhouse of engergy in your poem's words, images and theme. The scope of the poem has the feel of getting ready for a contest or a celebration where there are no limits and nothing will stop the force that drives those who participate.
 
 THEME
 
Finding joy and pleasure in the action is a great theme to pursue and your poem does an awesome job of stirring the soul out of its hibernation to get up and shake it. Something has to be shaken and whether it is to participate in a competition or get up and perform, the language of the poem stirs up the adrenaline.
 
 STRUCTURE
 
The poem is written in a free form with an aabb ccdd etc. rhyming scheme. The sounds of each sylable are filled crisp, stout resonance that makes the flow of the words quick. The pace matches the theme perfectly.
 
 WHAT I LIKED
 
These are some of the lines that were particularly stirring:

Its your time, its your age
Be confident and show up on stage

           

Crush the difficulties, spread smile on your face
Accept the challenge, leap over the hurdles of race

           

Fight until your fear gives up and goes
Your life is beautiful, full of craze

           
 
SUGGESTIONS
 
While the flow of words is energizing, rocking in at the level of a cheer or a high powered song, I would suggest that more imagery could be injected to slow the pace a bit and build more impact for some of the senses. The mental imagery works to get the heart rate up, but drawing some visuals for my hearing, vision, smell and taste would have put me personally right into the action.
 
 EDIT/REVISION
 
Besides my suggestions in the previous section I was not aware of any need for edit or revision.
 
 IN SUMMARY
 
This poem is designed to sing to youth about being active and dynamic in their approach to situations. There is a tremendous amount of energy in every line that commands the napping to wake up and take a firm grasp on life. Definitely a stirring read. Keep up the great work!
 
I hope my thoughts and feelings are a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

~Kenword~
 






My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .