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Hi there skdhill, 
 
I am ♫~ Kenword~♫ , a fellow author on Writing.com (WdC), and I would like to welcome you to this creative site for writers of all levels.

I chose  "Invalid Item"  to read from the Review A Newbie Forum of WdC. I enjoyed reading your poem and I am delighted to discuss your work.
 
My review is based solely on impressions and feelings your poem inspired. While I may suggest some minor revisions, I prefer to lend my feelings and impressions in the hopes that they may be a help and an encouragement. Please take what you think is appropriate and disregard the rest.
 
 FIRST IMPRESSION
 
There is so much love in this poem, not obvious through the first impressions, but as the words and images begin to resonate with my father's heart, I felt the selfless charity that can only come through a parent child relationship.
 
 THEME
 
A cherished dress becomes central to the life of a parent who cannot part with so precious a garment that holds the magic of “baby-ness”. Even the atoms that compose the material is now sacred. This is a special and unique notion that communicates so well the feelings of the one who must watch time change everything.
 
 STRUCTURE
 
The poem is written in a free form with an aabb ccdd etc. rhyming scheme that uses an occasional near rhyme, that keeps the unique flavor of your poem enjoyable and a pleasure to read. At the heart of this poem is a dear emphasis with sweet images that leads my focus away from the obvious flow of time to appreciate how you see and experience it.
 
 WHAT I LIKED
 
These are some of the images that were particularly amazing to me:

...—the one she wore,
our bundle rolling ‘round and ‘round on the floor
with her white bear, larger than she— ...

           

...I am categorically un-
able to hand down this dress,
vessel of so many atoms of her baby-ness.

           

does my daily defection betray
an alchemy sore:
a dress more treasured than the child it wore?

           
 
SUGGESTIONS
 
Every image in your poem is endearing and memorable. I would not suggest changing anything.
 
 EDIT/REVISION
 
I was not aware of any need for edit or revision.
 
 IN SUMMARY
 
Love is expressed in a beautiful dance with a dear garment a child has outgrown. The dress is examined through images that reveal to the heart, not the wonder of science, and in the process I am blessed by the truth that is revealed. Powerful writing! Keep up the great work!
 
I hope my thoughts and feelings are a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

~Kenword~
 







My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .