Hi there, I came upon your piece and thought I'd leave some thoughts:

What I liked:
Your descriptions are very unique. phrases like "spill its guts", and "trudged along" make the piece much more interesting.
The ending was unexpected and made the piece. It was short and to the point, but very funny!

Suggestions:
You say "is that faithful", and then the quotation mark ends after "he went on". I think the should end before that, at "faithful?", because the "he went on" part is narration.
keep your personal thoughts out of the piece, unless it's meant to be part of the narration. When you say they would make good song lyrics, it doesn't have much to do with the story and takes me out of the scenario.

Overall, this was a funny piece and fun to read. Keep writing pieces like this, it was a very enjoyable read!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .