Initial hook and title: Hey I wanted to return the review you did for me and when I dropped by your port I found this.



What I liked:

This is a really sweet poem about love. You're telling the person you're in love with that they are your everything but you do it by explaining how that is and what that person is to you, going into a lot of detail. It's full of emotion and it's quite a raw piece so it works well.

The fact that it doesn't rhyme only makes the freedom of expression more free and I really like that. I enjoyed this piece and it made me smile to think of the love here.


General suggestions / A few parting comments...

You have this piece labelled as 'fiction'. Personally I would have categorised it as poetry but that's up to you, just thought I'd throw in my two cents.

Line by line suggestions: ▼




Hope this helped!