"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 





Hi Amber, I’m reviewing Dragon Bones: Prologue found on Read a Newbie. Welcome to WdC, I hope you’re enjoying the website.

Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your story! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion! You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story.

Hooks: A hook is the best way to draw your readers in and make them want to continue reading. What I look for in hooks are the title, the story description, and the first paragraph. I like the title you have chosen for your book, and it was the first thing that caught my eye. The story description was a good clarification that this is the prologue, and not a complete story. The first paragraph was excellent and clearly provided the timeframe and setting for the story.

Specific critique that you have requested:

1 Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling: I prefer to review only for character development and story line.

2 Length (Does it seem too long for a prologue?)
I find it a bit lengthy, especially if you’re adding a second perspective to the prologue. A question you could ask yourself is: Is the prologue longer than a normal chapter?

3 Amount of Information (Have I given too much or not enough information to understand what's going on?)
You have more than enough info. Maybe you could condense it a bit to make the prologue a bit shorter.

4 Timing (Are the events timed well? Does it end too abruptly?)
Yes, the events flow smoothly. I find the ending is just right, it leaves the reader wanting to turn the page.

5 Interest (Would you want to read more?)
I enjoyed the prologue, and yes I’d be interested in reading more.



Characters: You’ve created strong characters from the descriptive words you’ve chosen to convey their thoughts and actions.

My Favorite Quote(s): “Beautiful things, Vainaastias.” The mage said, his tone oddly conversational. “That one, in particular, is incredibly beautiful. Do you know why I think that?”

Overall Impression: I enjoyed reading this prologue.
The scene and setting descriptions bring vivid images of the place, time, and environment. The note from Rayne’s father was well written. I was able to form a good image of all the events and characters in the story. Well done!

Final Thoughts: Thank you for sharing Dragon Bones: Prologue I’m looking forward to seeing more of your work here on WdC.
Write On

Autumn's the mellow time

William Allingham