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Review #4012104
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of Tangerine  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: GC | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)



Review of Tangerine

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I found it to be an interesting story. I was however lost in the the beginning and could not seem to understand where your story was going. This is perhaps you love to develop the back story and create a deeper understanding of your characters and there reasons for their interactions. My own writing is usually much more limited and moves quickly to the physical interaction between the characters. Because of this I find myself frustrated by the pace of the story. For me it is only in the rereading that I note the small comments you make which aid the ongoing story.

However when you finally move the story along and the two characters prepare for sexual action and combat your story has developed into a good interaction between Missy and Cliff. Your sexual play is intermersed with dialogue which makes the feeling of the characters show as stronger.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The meeting in the thrift store is unique but I wondered on the purpose of it. Again it is creation of a back story which is unusual for me. By the end of the story I feel that I have a characaterization of both your characters. Well done this is a area where you truely excell.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I would make the story simpilier and less involved.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing. I do enjoy your work.

dblameck



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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4012104