G'day 🌕 HuntersMoon

I'm reviewing "The Detached"  as a Graduate member of "Invalid Item" 

Overview:
A spooky poem that provokes feelings of guilt, thoughts of warning - of the fate awaiting those who are accosted by these spectres of death.

Title & Blurb:
The title drew me in, and the blurb more so; a compulsion to see what these crimes are, that would have such terrible eternal consequences.

Mood:
Dread is created and slithers along throughout the verses to the end, allowing no possible chink of hope to exist for such as these.

Rhythm:
You couldn't say there was a constant rhythm through the poem, with some lines shorter and of different syllables, but I feel this lends a flitting, reptilian movement to the piece, bringing that goosebump notion of an edge of vision adversary.

Appeal:
There is an entertaining feel to this, even though such a morbid, cheerless future for the "innocent" involved, both ghoul, and corrupted live person.

Rhyme:
Smooth and seamless. Comfortable. Enjambment, combined with rhyme, feathers up the readers' neck hairs with filaments of double meaning.

They're guided by an arcane oath
that never changes or repeats

and vomit forth their madness
in joyful hymns of death

Flow / linking / tone:
Nasty tone, malicious. The writer has made very good use of the prompt words to the end where, unless they were highlighted, and the contest restrictions pointed out, the reader wouldn't know there was a prompt.

Favourite:

They choose only the innocent,
much like they did in life.
They whisper of their discontent
spreading their evil strife

This verse ties the whole piece together, and tethers it all to the blurb and title. This feels like a summary of the idea, the pylon; the rest is supporting structure.

Suggestions:

How can anyone suggest anything with poems like this? There's always room for improvement, but only the author of it knows their intentions, direction for any changes. I find no glaring problems or difficult reading glitches.

I did look up possessive apostrophes for the following term, to confirm that it was correct, and couldn't find any information to state otherwise.

and spread darkness's blight.

http://www.grammar-monster.com/lessons/apostrophes_show_possession.htm

As it says above this review tool dialogue box:
Review Tip #3: Everyone, at every level, should be encouraged to continue writing

Continue writing.

Rating:

4.5 out of 5 rating does not detract from any lack on the writer's part. Continuous improvement is the key.

Thanks for sharing your work, and giving opportunity to review. You efforts reward the reader second only to yourself. As a writer, you are like a pianist, or other performer. Nobody enjoys the piece more than the player / singer.
My comments and suggestions are only intended to help you grow as a writer so please use them as you wish.

Sparky
** Image ID #1958259 Unavailable **


If you would like to join a friendly, helpful, supportive writing group, who strive for quality over quantity, and feature a positive reviewing style - especially for newbies; please click on the link below.

Invalid Item  This item number is not valid. #1830004 by Not Available.

and contact Hannah, Hannah ♫♥♫ .
THE PDG Rockin Reviewers Group

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .