Starship Sentry [E] Two stories, two genres, read it once and get "new eyes" to read it again. |
Hey! HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! Congrats on being featured in this weeks fantasy newsletter! Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer! Initial hook: not a huge fan of super technical sci-fi so that turned me off at first but I like the final twist Storyline:dog takes his duties as a Sentry VERY seriously Characters:Sentry and Commander (Owner) Setting:any town, anywhere Atmosphere/Tone:mechanical, A.I., manufactured Dialogue:only bit of dialogue completely changed the story What I liked:The Sentry snapped to, his loyalty emotion long ago programmed to override his thoughts A few comments/suggestions I had: (Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear) The Sentry ran to the entrance, and whimpered in gratitude is sentry a mechanism in dog form/shape? Now that you have discovered ... I invite you to re read it from that perspective to see and feel how the story changes. got it; very nice; A non-human construct, the Sentry conveyed messages that were measured and short so they could be easily understood. think this was the 1st line to make me think Sentry was a R2-DZ/A.I. type being A few parting comments... shame you aren't around WDC anymore :'( surely you're a published author now, *sigh*
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