I selected your story to review through the Random Review Forum of WdC.
 
It enjoyed reading your story and I am glad to give you some impressions I have of your piece as well as a short review.
 
My review is based solely on my opinion and feelings. While I may suggest some structural alterations, I prefer to lend my feelings and impressions about a story in the hopes that they may be of some help and encourage further thought about what has been created. Please take what you think is appropriate for your work and disregard the rest.
 
Overall Impression
 
An elf and a man team up for a mission. Through some intense narrative and dialogue the principle values of each of the characters is revealed. The two egos cannot be contained. The elf and man have no choice but to use their assassin skills to destroy the other.
 
Interest and Pace
 
The murderous hearts that are at work in this story draw me into the dark world you have created. The pure evil of the elf and the man is evident from the beginning, but their two natures are quite different and it is in the difference of the two main characters that my interest builds.
 
I enjoyed the interaction between Sul’hupkar and Ryn, as the act of walking together through a maze of hallways (alleyways) turns into a deadly contest between the two assassins. Through this interaction the tension and pace of the story builds with explosive power.
Structure and Clarity
The short sentences and dialogue work together well to build the key action of the story. The communication between the elf and man is clear and the core action built around Ryn’s intension to bait Sul’hupkar into fight is well done.
 
Edits/Revisions
 
There were a few incidental word and punctuation corrections that will be needed on a re-write, but other than that I would not suggest any revisions to your story.
 
Summary
 
Sul’hupkar, a dark elf, cannot contain his pride driven anger as he has been partnered with an inferior human, Ryn. That there will have to be a show down is as inevitable as two outlaw gunslingers stepping into an old west town’s main street to shoot it out.
 
I appreciate your ability to write a strong action packed story. I enjoyed reading and re-reading it.
 
Thanks,
 
~Kenword~
 
 
 
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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .