Hi Elle - on hiatus . I am back with the review for the item which I found in "The Kiwi Review Challenge! - closed" . Please note that these are my views as a reader and are not meant to offend in any manner.

Huia... I tried to Google this name but it mostly talks about the bird and not about the place. Hence my views are based on the words written in the poem itself. I got the idea about the place as you wanted to show it. A small place near to the mountains surrounded by the forest and serve as a holiday destination. Are there no water-bodies around? The mountains and forests means there should be some rivers too, either seasonal or permanent sorts.

First thing I would like to say is that the the short form as Septet is based on the visualization. There is no scope for lax word usage there. This poem describes the place nicely, but it could have been more visual, even within the current structure.

For example "Nestled in the arms of the forest," you have used two syllables for "the" which is used twice. I would like to know what kind of forest were there, maybe dense, rain would have been one choice, both with single syllable.

Similarly the last line "we visit" is anti-climatic. It looks so simple in comparison to the short form.

All in all, though I enjoyed the poem and it goes with the form perfectly, I think the poem would have been more influential if it had some more visual and appealing words. I do not mean to discourage in any manner but I'm just trying to explain what more I would like to see in the poem.




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .