Hi Fi . I found your poem for the first time in PWW, and I have postponed reviewing it due to one or the other reason. As I begin the reviews for "The Kiwi Review Challenge! - closed" , I selected this as the first item to be reviewed. Please note that these are my views as a reader and are not meant to offend in any manner.


I had never heard about the One Tree Hill, and I actually found the story of the hill very nicely described in your poem. Each stanza speaks of a time period and the expounds on what is happening on the Hill and to the tree. It is amazing how much beauty and love we sacrifice in the name of country, religion and regions. I enjoyed the way you wove the whole story in the poem. I can understand how difficult it is to express an incidence in the poem, but your poem captures the incidence and the feelings which instigated it along with your own viewpoint quite well.
The only confusion I had was in the beginning to paragraphs where you talked about "trees" in place of "one tree". The link you gave talks about one tree only there. But if before that, there were many trees which existed, there should be a stanza about their vanishing as well.


You have used the rhyming scheme of a,a,b,b which flew nicely except at one place of "roar and war" which do not really rhyme. But since, I was so deep in the story it did not distract me. Though it felt strange while speaking out the poem aloud. Also the sentence Protests its place now fill. does not go with the question asked before it. My suggestion will be to shift the question mark in the last sentence only as it will make the flow more continuous.


Apart from the question mark mentioned above, there was no other issues.


My absolute favorite was the way you used the chainsaw as a declaration of war and how it is used as a message of showing that politics sometimes defeats the beauty. Both the stanzas having these words were amazing. Good Job!


Explaining a culture through a poem is a difficult task but it is done with amazing ease in this poem. I am glad I got to read this poem.

Keep Writing!





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .