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Review #3828540
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Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
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Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!


*Reading* Initial hook: wow, weight loss to the extreme, with the most dire consequences

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: unbelievable, too good to be true, then it 'makes sense' at the end

*Suitheart* What I liked: the fantastical air about the story, kept asking myself 'how can it be so easy?!' 'where is this going?' 'how much did it cost?!'

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)


*BulletG*A chunk of plaque had dislodged itself
plaque? as in from between your teeth? this part is unclear but the intent is understood

A few parting comments...
very interesting take on the given prompt, a reminder that everything comes at a price, some more costly than others

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 02/21/2013 @ 3:59pm EST
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3828540