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Review #3825615
Viewing a review of:
 How Much Longer?! Open in new Window. [E]
It's been two years, two whole years...
by dolfo Author Icon
Review of How Much Longer?!  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)

Hi dolfo Author Icon -

As a newer member of this site, I wanted to take a moment to welcome you to Writing.Com. Today is actually my 10th anniversary of being a member here, and I'm celebrating by hosting "SoCalScribe's 10th Anniversary Gala" Open in new Window. and giving away several prizes throughout the day. I've selected you as a recipient of one of 10 reviews I'm handing out today, which also comes with 10,000 Gift Points for you to spend as you please. *Smile*

I'm enclosing the following review for your consideration, but please keep in mind that these comments are my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of them as you see fit.


WHAT WORKED

*Bullet* I think you did a great job capturing the emotion of feeling trapped inside some place, desperate to experience the outdoor things (like sunlight and rain) that many of us take for granted in our daily lives. Those experiences and emotions were detailed and descriptive and created a vivid image in the reader's mind. *Thumbsup*


WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

*Bullet* I thought the repetition of "how much longer" at the end was a little over the top... I think you could achieve the same result with just three repetitions, or even the use of bold, italics, underlining, capitalization, etc. to make the emphasis more pronounced.


OVERALL IMPRESSION

Overall, I really enjoyed reading this item. I thought it was well-written, evocative and very compelling. Nice work!


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material, and again, welcome to Writing.Com! If you'd like to introduce yourself over at "SoCalScribe's 10th Anniversary Gala" Open in new Window., please feel free to click on the link or the image at the bottom of this review and stop by to say hello! *Bigsmile*

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


SoCalScribe

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" Open in new Window.
"The Dark Society" Open in new Window.
"Blogocentric Formulations" Open in new Window.

Logo for SoCalScribe's 10th Anniversary Gala activity.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 02/16/2013 @ 11:14pm EST
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3825615