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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3816837
Review #3816837
Viewing a review of:
 LIFE CYCLE: a sestina Open in new Window. [ASR]
The cycle of life continues, just as it snows, melts, rises and snows again.
by Dr M C Gupta Author Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Dr M C Gupta Author Icon. This review is the entry fees for your contest "FIVE STAR POETRY CONTEST:editor's choice" Open in new Window.. Before I begin my review, please note that these are my views as a reader and are not meant to offend in any manner.

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Imagery Created

The poem compares the rebirth and the snowfall very beautifully. The message is conveyed even though you had to structure the poem across different form.

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Language, grammar and form

Let me commend you for trying such a difficult form. I am afraid even to think about trying it, after reading and understanding the form details. Your end words placement does not feel forced anywhere. It also goes with the quote as such. Though the end word sentences flows well, there are few sentences which I found a bit off in the flow of the poem. I will mention them, and then, you can decide what you want to do with them~

But, in fact, unwelcome is this continuity ~ This sentence is grammatically correct, but does not flow well with the previous sentence.
But it is impossible scientific quest ends.~ This sentence does not seem correct. May be "But the scientific quest for truth of rebirth never ends". This sentence will maintain the syllable count as well.
Ii is not ~ A small typo in the beginning. I gues it is the word "it".

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Punctuation

Mostly, the poem was perfectly punctuated except at one place. Research published in scientific journals shows that which needs some kind of period or comma to give a transition to next sentence.

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Favorites and Not-so-Favorites

The way you used the form. I cannot even think about using the form and that too, with the adherence of syllable count.

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Other thoughts and suggestions

You are an exceptional poet. I have read your ghazals too, both Hindi and English. One day, I hope I will be able to express myself as beautifully as you.

Thank you for writing and sharing your poems.

Keep Writing! *Thumbsup*

** Image ID #1908733 Unavailable **


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