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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3816301
Review #3816301
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Review of 30 Prompt Contest  Open in new Window.
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!


*Reading* Initial hook: poor duckie...he was just a baby

*Home* Setting: Duckie-pocalypse

*Telephone* Dialogue: “What chemical did he fall into?”/“I don’t know. The one with the skull and cross bones on it.”, ha, rest is just ok

*Suitheart* What I liked: genetic mutation's always fun

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)


*BulletG* Boats flew in the air and disintegrated upon impact; pieces of wood flew in the air.
Boats and wood pieces flew through the air, disintegrating upon impact.

*BulletB*Power lines fell down; sparks showered the ground.
Power lines fell down; sparks showered the ground.; avoid excess words

*BulletR*A fifty food duckling,
A fifty foot duckling,

*BulletV* about to watch to a movie.
d about to watch to a movie.

*Bullet*“I told you a baby duck was no place in the lab.
“I told you a baby duck had no place in the lab.

*BulletG*Mr. Peeps was wondering and
Mr. Peeps was wandering and

*BulletB*“So far it looks like you’re in the clear, but I’m not going to turn you in.”
“So far it looks like you’re in the clear, and I’m not going to turn you in.”

A few parting comments...
very interesting direction with the prompt! just a little hard to read with the typos and grammar mistakes

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 01/28/2013 @ 9:10pm EST
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