Hi ~A.J. Lyle~ . Wish you a belated Happy Birthday. Hope you had a wonderful day. This review is a birthday review for you and a way of saying Thanks to you from my side. Before I begin, please note that these are my views as a reader and are not meant to offend in any manner.

Plot

A classic plot of forbidden love between a human and non-human race. Though the plot is well-known, I still enjoyed the way you crafted the story. And I believe that is more difficult. A new story always capture the interest, but writing a well-known plot in such a manner that it holds the interest is an achievement in itself.

Characters

Both the characters were developed enough within the word count premises, though I would love to read more about Malik. As in who really was he? A vampire or a shape-shifter? I know you mentioned phasing of him and his characteristic but my fantasy-deprived mind needs more idea to be sure. Also I would like to know the purpose of Alliance and the kind of messages they delivered. I can see that 1867 words prevented you to include this in the story or may be the story is a work of some bigger project. It was like a teaser which whetted my appetite to know more about their world.

Description

Enjoyable and as I said, left me wanting for more.

Language and Grammar

I am not really perfect in the grammar and the language section. Just a small suggestion, as far as I know, "Sweatpants" is a single word. You have used it as "sweat pants". But I am not very sure about it though. You may want to crosscheck it.

Favorites and Not-so-favorites

Though I enjoyed every part and the way you paced the story, ending was my favorite in the whole piece, esp the last line.

Other thoughts and Suggestions

Reading this was a pleasure as well as a leaning experience for me. Someday, I hope I will be able to show a story as beautifully as this.

Keep Writing

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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