Disclaimer: The following words are my personal opinions and interpretations. These are meant to encourage the writer and his/her readers. Please, read carefully.

Theme: A little girl believes she has lost all sense of smell on a family nature outing. How could this happen? In reality, she is still overcoming a stuffed up nose from a nasty cold.

Plot: I get a sense all through this story that the little girl has her own ideas about life, in general. She is the more stubborn and outgoing member of this family. The writer has done a great job in revealing the nature of her personality. One that her family enjoys humoring at times. In the end, her dilemma is worked out, though her beliefs about life remain a little fantastic and unrealistic. She has a vivid imagination.

Enjoyment: She has a lot of spunk for a child, and so does her brother. Her love of nature is contagious. Her temporary nasal stuffiness causes grief that she copes with in a stubborn, yet humorous way.

Irony: The twist here is whether to believe she has really lost her sense of smell. She is very convincing. In the end, it becomes obvious to me that the 'miracle' she speaks of is actually her stuffed up nose healing. This little girl has quite a vivid imagination.

Emotional Reactions: I read along happily as this family prepares for an enjoyable nature outing. The little girl's joy at sensing their arrival is overwhelming. Her family tolerates her concerns and her antics by finding the humor in them.

Character Development: This little girl is the main character throughout the story. The rest of the family supports her in this leading role.

Narration: I enjoy any form of narration written appropriately. The narrator for this story is the little girl. She comes across as relating her journey as it happens. So, we get to see and feel her thoughts and emotions as they occur in real time. This is a common approach to writing stories in which we get a sense that we are right there with the characters.

Dialogue: Ocassionally reveals the thoughts of each character as a typical family relaxing and ready to have some fun. In their dialogue, we also see how they each find humor in this little girl's antics.

Suggestions: None. Other than one or two grammar mistakes, I would not change a thing about this story.

Overall: This is an entertaining story with believable characters. Excellent job!

Patrick

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .