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Review #3780341
Viewing a review of:
 Every Breath  [13+]
A free verse poem about a lady and a life lost.
by Itchy Water~fictionandverse
Review of Every Breath  
Review by KerrieAnnS
In affiliation with The Brainstormers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Please note - any suggestions are my personal opinion.
Feel free to use them or ignore them.


*MugBr* Title: Every Breath

*MugG* Author: Itchy Water~fictionandverse

*MugLP* Reviewed by: KerrieAnnS

*MugLV* First Impression: I visualise a elderly woman who has found herself too ill to do anything but lie in wait for death, the only thing left to her is to breathe. This is a very sad poem to read, I feel waves of pity for the woman.

*MugV* What I liked most: I really like the line "for her age captured her in her mind" as this makes me wonder if maybe she is paralyzed? She can't speak or communicate with the outside world, trapped with nothing but her own thoughts.
I have often had conversations with others regarding euthanasia and the pros and cons of it. This poem reminds me of those conversations. Looking through the point of view of the victim; their suffering and how they feel like there is nothing left to live for, that they are in fact already dead. Who are we to force them to endure this? To be trapped in their minds, grieving the loss of joy in their lives. As you can tell your poem has really reached out and made me think, SUCCESS!

*MugR* Suggestions: I'm not sure, I could be wrong, but the line "the joy of life, too, soon gone;" doesn't sound right to me. It feels like there are too many commas.

*MugO* Conclusion: A brilliant, emotional poem that really made me think about life and death for someone in such a weak position. Thank you for writing this!

*Pencil* *Pen**Quill* WRITE ON *Quill**Pen**Pencil*


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The Brainstormers Group  (E)
A group for those with depression or mental illness. Friends and family welcome too.
#1854628 by Itchy Water~fictionandverse
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