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Review #3772440
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by A Guest Visitor
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi, my name is Bertie. I am reviewing this short story on behalf of WDC POWER REVIEWERS GROUP - A DOZEN DELIGHTS AUCTION.
I hope that my suggestions are helpful

TITLE: THE BAUMER PROJECT As a title for this story, I think it falls short. There is not enough about the "Project" to justify the story being named for the project.


THEME: A young woman seems to have taken on a bit too much at work.


STRUCTURE: It seems as though I am coming in to the middle of this story.


SPELLING, GRAMMAR, AND PUNCTUATION: No errors in these categories


MY OVERALL IMPRESSION: I liked this, but would like to see more background. The Baumer Project; if it is important enough to have named the story for it you should have more about The Project in the story.


MY FAVORITE PARTS: I like this over achiever. She is a very realistic character. The way she faints puts me in mind of one of those old nineteen twenty movie dramas where the young woman is rescued after a fainting spell by some dashing young man.


MY SUGGESTIONS: Work this up a bit more to round it out. Add a little more back story about Elise and her involvement with the Baumer Project so that the title fits better.

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Thank you for permitting me to review your work. Keep writing and offering your work for review. Blessings, Bertie
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 10/10/2012 @ 3:25pm EDT
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