Review of showering acts of joy member to member

Why I chose this piece: Birthday

Overall impression of piece: This is a much needed piece. Easter has kind of been saturated with all kinds of fabels that have nothing to do with anything

Grammatical and spelling errors. Peter, His son would be better as an appositive

What I liked? I am not a rhyme fan but this is particularly well done, It really helps with the rhythm of the piece and , for the musically inclined, probably could be put to music. There is no watered down Christianity. I even see a bit of revelations in here. You have told the truth.

What I disliked: I think there is a sweetness in what happened at easter. Maybe there could be a comparison of sweets to the loving surrender of a God who loved us. Some of this is lifted right out of scripture. For most, that will not matter.

How the piece made me feel: Maybe we don't want to be children. I think that is what a lot of the reluctance is. Maybae we don't know how to be loved? We are partially the message of Easter because we love like he did.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of review today.

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