%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #3729947 |
 | The Conversation  [E] True short story about my last conversation with my mother.  |
| (4.0)  Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! Title: The Conversation Author: KwiteKreative Type: Short story While it is certainly a poignant look at life, dying and the love between a mother and daughter, just seems incomplete. This woman finally gets a chance to be alone with her mother, wanting to speaker to her when he brothers and sisters aren't around, and quizzically that is where the tale ends, with her getting that chance. You leave the reader in the lurch, wondering what it was that she wanted to say to her mother. Oh, I can appreciate that she probably just wanted a chance to be alone, but the way that statement is made, Things I needed her to hear, even if she didn't fully understand. And I had not wanted any of my siblings around for this private conversation. makes me wonder if what she wishes to say is less than charitable. I'm sure that isn't the case since it would be out of keeping with the rest of the tale. But her seeming surreptitious nature made me wonder. So you can see why you need to end this with more clarity. The reader isn't sure what the daughter needs to talk about. Just a little more detail would go a long way to clearing all that up. I guess the main question is, do you plan to add to this, or write more? I hope so, I think you have something here, but it is incomplete as it now stands, I think.  
|
||||||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
You responded to this review 07/08/2012 @ 5:29pm EDT