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Review #3615659
Viewing a review of:
As the light slowly fades ... Open in new Window. [18+]
What do they know - "a coward's way out". (Form: Free Verse) A Two-In-One Poetry Entry
by 🌕 HuntersMoon Author Icon
Review by A Non-Existent User
In affiliation with Two-in-One Poetry Contest Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Initial impression: I love how this poem moves from a social to a personal view (the crumbling building and broken teacup, to the whispering rope and smell of despair). I find this movement extremely effective in getting readers to "feel" the poem rather than judge the act described in its content.

Title: The title fits this poem perfectly, as it is also one of the strongest lines in the poem.

Tone: The solemn voice is successfully maintained throughout the entire piece.

What works: I find the last two stanzas to be very effective and very powerful for moving the message along in this poem. The contrast of "light and dark" and "freshness and cloistered smell" suggest to me a brief moment of mixed feelings, perhaps even a little too little and a lot too late. But wow! All I can say about the last stanza is that everything written before it builds up the emotions in preparation for the powerful ending. The taking of one's life is generally seen as an ugly or vulgar act; the character in this poem sees it as his "salvation" (my word). But the powerful ending is in HOW he sees himself passing (line 3 of the last stanza). The contrast between the writhing of a dying body and a dance is striking. The fact that the only two witnesses to the act are the character himself and the old building emphasizes the loneliness and despair.

What doesn't work: Nothing. I don't see anything that doesn't work well with all the elements of this poem to create this poetic masterpiece.

You are a very talented poet. It was a pleasure to read and review your poem, and I look forward to reading more of your work.
JMariah



This review has been given on behalf of the "Two-in-One Poetry Contest" Open in new Window.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 11/05/2011 @ 4:08pm EDT
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