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Given: Oct 2, 2011 at 9:09pm
Length: 1,496 Characters |
1,157 w/o WritingML
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.
Overall Impression:
I enjoyed reading this. Instead of being about a specific first love, though there are places that refer to a specific first love, this is about first loves in general. A different approach to the prompt.
What I like:
I went back to find a particular line, and liked them all. The rhythm is consistent, rhyme scheme consistent from beginning to end, and word choice is excellent. It is easy to identify with the speaker. The title fits the content.
Problems and suggestions:
The only thing I don't like is it feels almost "academic" in its objectivity. The tone suggests the speaker is still struggling to believe the content of his own words. I am not sure if this is really a shortcoming, or just a natural sound when one is still tender from a lost love.
Comments:
All in all, a well executed piece of writing.
Thank you for sharing.
Keep writing!
Elizabeth
You responded to this review 10/03/2011 @ 6:52am EDT
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