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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3596235
Review #3596235
Viewing a review of:
He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not Open in new Window. [13+]
Some times your first love is the wrong person, and your love is not returned!!
by Summer Wind is Healing Author Icon
Review by allymonsta Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Two-in-One Poetry Contest Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
WOW! I really enjoyed your poem. It is so sweet and flowing.
My favourite part is

"Baskets of flowered hope end
In sad "he love's me not."

This to me really shows just how sad this is and creates a picture in the mind of the reader.
i think though that the line

" The robin's cheery song is full of woe"
I know what you are trying to say but it is a little confusing maybe instead try something like
"The Robins song, sung full of woe"
but really I Like to find something about every peice that could be improved and you made it very difficult so if you don't like my suggestion don't worry about it!

Thank you so much for a lovely read I thought it was brilliant!
Write on!
Ally

   *CheckG* You responded to this review 10/01/2011 @ 12:55pm EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3596235