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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3585006
Review #3585006
Viewing a review of:
 The Mystical Workshop Open in new Window. [E]
A story of how a boy opens himself to a life of music.
by Ms. Byron Author Icon
Review by Uncommonspirit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
This is a WDC Power Reviewer Review. I am not a professional copy editor. These are my opinions as a writer, reader, and lover of words. Please take or leave my opinions as you will.

*Check2* Overall Impression:

I found your tale about the magic violin to be quite delightful. Little Angelo truly is a tiny angel.

*Check2* Plot:

The plot was simple enough. A young boy is curious about his deceased father and is worried when his mother becomes sick. In a magical way, he discovers music and steps into his father's shoes.

*Check2* Style and Voice:

You story is being told, rather like a fairytale and little is being shown. While I like the narrative, it would have been nice to be more in Angelo's shoes than viewing him from a distance.

*Check2* Scene/Setting:

I liked the setting you choose. It helped to carry the scenes forward in a positive way. Sort of felt like something out of dicken's.

*Check2* Characters:

Angelo is well developed and three dimensional. However, his mother was more of a stereotype. Perhaps it was your goal to have her viewed as a child would see her? That was sort of how I felt about her. She was "mother" and not a separate person.

*Check2* Dialog:

I like little Angelo, but it would have been good to hear him say something other than he looked like his father. Once or twice would be okay, but you had it as a running theme throughout the story and it got a little old.

*Check2* Grammar and Mechanics:

I did not spot any obvious grammar errors. You have proofed this well.

*Check2* Suggestions:

I liked your story. About the only thing that I would change if you are going to work on this again is to have Angelo remark or hear something other than "you look like your father" all the time.

Happy Account Birthday!!!! Take care.


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