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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3562914
Review #3562914
Viewing a review of:
A Poem Of Love Open in new Window. [13+]
A poem of love for not a human being
by Sticktalker Author Icon
Review of A Poem Of Love  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Earth* A PDG NEWBIE REVIEW *Earth*


Hello Sticktalker Author Icon! I'm Breaker~A Vigilante Ranger~ Author Icon. I will be doing a review for the above poetry item in your port. This is a review for the"Invalid Item" Open in new Window.. Please remember, a review is only how I, as an individual, see your piece. Accept what you agree with, ignore that which you disagree with.

*Ornament2S* *Ornament2S* *Ornament2S* *Ornament2S* *Ornament2S**Ornament2S*


*NoteR* OVERVIEW:
Your idea of trying to clear a deep thought of man’s concern of love is absolutely clarified. I honour your great effort. *BigSmile*

*NoteR* FLOW:
This pieces' flow reads very well and the reader isn't sidetracked by excess adjectives.

*NoteR* FAVORITE LINE(S):
I liked this stanza the best -- it paints a very clear image of a baby reaching out and grabs hold of his father's finger in a strong grasp: *Down*

A man holds a finger
The child not in anger
Holds it very tight

*NoteR* GRAMMAR, PUNCTUATION AND SPELLING:
There are no mistakes that I could see in your piece, except a minor error in forgetting to placed a period to end the last line of the last stanza.

*NoteR* SUGGESTED IMPROVEMENT:
I just wanted to highlight one thing that bothers me while reading the first line of your poem. In the first line of the first stanza the phrase, ‘one can love in many different ways’ should be considered because I think, it’s better to remove the word different and leave the word ‘many’ because you should avoid redundant expressions when possible in fact that it adds no new meaning to the phrase and by eliminating that your piece will give the reader in a more clear and concise approach.

*NoteR* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Great poem Lyle! The idea is true about love and it makes me to think of myself with the love I had in mind. The clarification is very obvious and I congratulate you for that. I really enjoy reading your piece. Keep up the great work. *Smile*


*Ornament2S* *Ornament2S* *Ornament2S*


*ButterflyB* Thank you very much for sharing your inspiring work! *ButterflyB*

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