new emerged waves [E] I wrote it when i joined a MNC after a lot of struggle |
I have a few humble suggestions, but please remember that you are the best judge of your writing : Kudos and Applause: I loved the use of words and the rhythm of the poem however i stuck at few places. I love these lines: "touch your parent's feet, feel the sun's heat" Technical, Grammar and Spelling: I have few below: "here is the will here is the way"-------There could be a comma between this sentence to have a pause like this "here is the will, here is the way" Or you can put the line after the comma in a separate one. You could also have given some space after every comma you have put in the poem. The following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your story. The red sentences in red are how they currently appear in your poem. I know punctuation is a matter of style, but I think I could understand it better if there was some like in the first line. When I read the poem loudly, at some places, I was stuck but at very few. However the rest lines were okay for me. Overall Impression : The poem was nice and was touching. I loved the rhythm the most. Keep sharing your work with us. Keep writing Aqua_mantis
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