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 Review #3324941 |
| Hello Kyle Curcio  It is my honor to review your offering "Invalid Item"  today (in conjunction with Nicki's "Merit Badge Bonanza!" [E]). Please keep in mind that any suggestions I make here are just that: suggestions. Pick and choose which ones you like or discard them in their entirety. You and only you can decide what's right for your work. Every writer has an individual style--a unique voice to share with the world, and originality is not only welcome, but encouraged. Overall Impression: Cats with reindeer names, huh? Who'd've thunk it!  This story is unique and leaves the reader with a smile on her face. I like all the tidbits of information you threw into the mix (how Rudolph was created, for example). It makes the story more interesting and entertaining to read.  Suggestions: She'd been old as long as anyone could remember- like she was born that way. According to Diana Hacker's A Writer's Reference, "When typing, use two hyphens to form a dash (--). Do not put spaces before or after the dash. (If your word processing program has what is known as an 'em-dash,' you may use it instead, with no spaces before or after it.)" She'd been old as long as anyone could remember--like she was born that way. Raising seven hundred and fifty dollars was is no easy feat for a pre-teen these days. (Was is past tense, while these days is present tense.) My open admission that I knew nothing from the get go get-go opened up a soft spot with her, I think. Loretta Lynn offered yet another with her 1974 song "Shadrock the Reindeer". Joe Diffy's "Leroy the Redneck Reindeer", 1995. Titles of musical compositions should be either underlined or italicized. All of them were replacement deer for the originals, who were killed after being shot down while trying to bring Christmas to american American soldiers in Iraq in 2002. 2008 television special called "The Flight Before Christmas" Titles of television programs should either be underlined or italicized. Specifically Olive (the mutt who, when hearing christmas Christmas might be cancelled due to rudolph Rudolph being sick, read her name into "all of" the other reindeer and set out for the north pole to do her duty), Max (poor Max, the grinch"s Grinch's dog) and Zero (who was Jack Skellington's pet in "The Nightmare Before Christmas", 1993 The Nightmare Before Christmas in 1993). What I Liked Best: I could mow a lawn, paint a door, sand a wrought iron fence, and I had the chutzpah to take on the wicked witch of the west side. She's got more soft spots than a rotten pear. Very cute and clever. Nicely done! I referred to "Comment-In-A-Box" [E] when rating this item.
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