"Can I stay and watch you change?" says Ted, seeing you hesitating.
You reply, "Well, ok, but I'm pretty fat - you might not like what you see."
"Pete, I KNOW you're fat - I had you lying on top of me, and it was hard to avoid noticing how big you are! What might surprise you is that I LIKE fat guys - and gals. Fat is cool."
'If you think fat is cool, why aren't you fat? you reply.
'I don't gain weight. I can't gain weight. It might have something to do with going running every day and playing soccer and basketball, I suppose. I like to eat - I LOVE to eat - but I don't gain weight. And nobody in my family is fat,' Ted replied.
'Oh,' you reply. 'Well, as long as you don't make fun of me...'
'Pete, I don't make fun of fat people - in fact, I once beat up a guy for making fun of some fat people.'
'OK! Well, stick around then. I know that yellow shirt is pretty tight, and I'm not sure I even fit in the cut-offs any more.'
'I'll help you do them up, if you like.'
You take off the vest and the warm shirt. Boy, that feels better already, as the moving air from the ceiling fan above hits your suddenly naked back. Ted looks at you admiringly, then asks, 'Do you need a hand unbuttoning those jeans?'
'Sure,' you reply. Reaching around your gut to get at the button of your jeans has been an increasing pain the last couple of year, and if this guy wants to do it... Ted moves in, and his big square hands are suddenly digging into your gut to release the button. Instinctively, you try to suck in your belly, even though you know it doesn't make much difference. Ted fumbles with the button for moment, then gets it free. The weight of your belly, released, forces the zipper down. 'See, I told you I was fat. I hardly fit in jeans anymore.'
You take the jeans off, and Ted hands you the yellow t-shirt. It is even tighter than you remembered, and when you've got it on, it encases your fat chest and fatter gut like a second skin. In the mirror, you catch a glimpse of yourself looking just like you'd feared - like some obese yellow sun. Ted hands you the denim cut-offs and...