Ted hands you the denim cut-offs and you step into them, and pull them as far up your legs as you can. They only get to mid-thigh - much lower than the last time you put them on.
"Are those going to go on at all?" asks Ted, watching you struggle with the cut-offs. With much straining, you've got them on your thighs, but getting them over your butt is not going well.
"I don't know. They used to."
"When?" Ted asks doubtfully.
"A couple of years ago."
"A couple of years ago! Pete, I don't fit in the clothes I had a couple of years ago, let alone a big guy like you! You've grown since then - of course they don't fit. Before I buy you lunch we'd better go get you some shorts and tees that fit. Have you got anything that fits? Sweats? Just something to put on until you get new stuff."
"Where is a guy my size going to find new shorts?" you ask wearily. You KNOW that clothing stores NEVER have anything in your current size.
"The Levi's outlet," replies Ted with certainty.
"What! They won't have any big enough."
"Oh yes they will. My bud Brent works there - he's not as big as you, but he's plenty fat, and he says they've got jeans up to size 60! I know all the linemen from the football team shop there."
"60!" you exclaim. "That's whale sized."
'Hey, just because you're fat doesn't mean you can call other fat guys names," Ted retorts.
"OK, ok, it's just I've never met anyone that size."
"So, you got anything you can wear? Any sweats," Ted asks again.
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