(This chapter was written by another author, and posted by me at their request.)
You decided the most responsible thing to do was check on Mari. If she needed any help getting Christmas ready for your daughter's that should be your number one priority.
Of course, getting anywhere in your house was always a bit of a challenge. You climbed down from the kitchen table using a small ladder on the corner for just that purpose. Of course, as soon as you were in the floor, Juli stomped back into the room, eyes straight ahead.
You dodged backwards, not wanting to spend another holiday plastered to Julie's sole (when she was a kid, you'd accidentally gone trick or treating with her from inside her shoe). Riley followed her in a minute later, and the two began pulling out baking ingredients.
"Are you sure it's still ok to make gingerbread cookies?" Riley asked.
"What do you mean Riles?" Juli responded.
"Some people online are saying it's rude to the affected to eat tiny man shaped cookies". Riley said.
"Oh that's just some influencers trying to stir up drama." Juli said. "Controversy is better for engagement. I'm sure daddy doesn't mind."
It was true that you didn't necessarily mind, but you knew being in a room where tiny man shaped objects were being baked and consumed was an accident waiting to happen. You waited for a moment when their constantly moving feet weren't stomping near the doorway, then sprinted out of the kitchen into the safety of the hallway.
With your daughters successfully dodged, getting to Mari wasn't too challenging, just time consuming as you crossed the house to you and your wife's bedroom. When you entered, you found Mari looking surprisingly stressed. You pressed the buzzer button just inside your doorway, which alerted Mari to you entering.
"Oh Matt, I totally messed up. I thought I'd gotten a Christmas present for everyone on my list but I totally missed one!" Mari said. "And now it's too late to get them what I had planned, and it was going to be perfect! Ugh what a disaster."
She leaned down and picked you up off the floor, finding some small comfort in your presence against her skin.
"Mari it's ok. I'm sure we can think of something. I'm totally free today so whatever I can do to help I will." You said.
This turned out to be a very dangerous thing to say.
"Oh that's it Matt! You're amazing! You can totally help me!" Mari squealed.
"Oh really? Great! Yeah I'm happy to-"
SQUISH
Mari's hand clenched into a fist around you, flattening you into your squished form.
"I can just mold you into the gift I was planning on getting while I wait for the real item to ship! Then when the replacement arrives, I'll swap you out and no one ever has to know that you were their gift at first! It's brilliant! Thanks for volunteering, honey."
You had certainly NOT volunteered, but you were too squished to say otherwise now. Unless Mari realized what a bad idea this was, which felt unlikely given your wife's track record, you were about to become a Christmas present for one of the unaffected in your life.
But who did Mari forget to buy a present for, and what does she have planned for you?
1. Mari turns you into a tight pair of athletic shorts for Riley.
2. Mari turns you into a bralette for Juli.
3. Mari turns you into a new yoga mat for Fariha Bhavsar, one of your employees at Focused Fitness.
4. Mari turns you into an insole for Ashley Parker, the busy bakery owner always on her feet.
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