Sitting on his custom tiny chair attached by a crane hooked to the sun visor was Stan Padding. A rookie on his newly inclusive Police Department, Stan was under constant scrutiny from his superiors and colleagues alike. Everybody expected him to fail, men were no longer cutout for this kind of work following the shrinking virus. However, this was all Stan wanted and he was determined to show it, which was why he was currently irritated.
About thirty minutes ago his partner, Izzy Lopez, stopped off at an ice cream joint and was fawning over the frozen dairy treats as well as abusing her position as a cop to get sample after sample. They were burning daylight. About three different calls came over the radio, all of which he couldn't answer in earnest because he was incapable of driving the car.
Finally, after forty five minutes, Izzy came out of the store. His pudgy partner was always at risk of pouring out of her uniform, yet somehow never did. This made Stan look down, seeing the cheap pleather and subpar stuffing of the chair had been permanently indented into the shape of her humongous butt. Stan was enraged to discover that she had a regular plain chocolate!
As she squeezed her way into their squad car, he couldn’t hold his tongue. “Seriously Izzy, after all that crap, you picked one of the most basic things?! You could’ve sampled all that on your time off!” Izzy was unfazed by his little tirade and simply responded: “Can’t use my badge off duty or I would.”
“To top it all off, we’ve missed call after call! Do I need to report you to Cynthia?!” He dared to ask. Izzy took this seriously as she stamped on the brakes hard at a red light. She hovered her rear about three inches off of her seat. “Do I need to cool you off?!” She threatened. If you looked down at her rump indent on her chair you could see a little starfish like outline which is where Stan had spent some time “cooling off” under her.
“No.” He said matter of factly. Crossing his arms in his small chair. Stan stared forward waiting for some kind of a call, some call to action.
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