It was a beautiful assault, worthy of the legions of old.
Piscina II was a paradise world, the place where the Imperium's old heroines went to rest after decades, if not centuries, of tirless service. The planet's world surface resembled a great, luxurious garden, tended by a million workers who made sure every flower, every hall, every statue looked its best at all times.
Rachala stomped a block of roses without care. She laughed out loud, beheading marble statues with the axe on her right hand, while the left bounced one of the squealing, militia fools who had tried to stop the Red Eyes advance. Sure, this force of armed humans was almost ten thousand strong. But the Red Eyes were astartes warriors, veterans of a thousand campaigns and then some. In two hours they had 'beheaded' the enemy's command structure, leaving the planet's high commander, alongside the rest of her staff, dangling by their granny panties for everyone to see.
The world of Piscina offered no important resources to its invaders. They would acquire no weaponry, or armor and supplies for their ships. Slaves was the main resource the Red Eyes were looking for. Slaves and the fun of rading an Imperial planet after nearly fifty years of dull inactivity.
Rachala looked to her right, were a squadron of eager rapaxes flew off the towers of a smoking cathedral, taking with them ten howling, fat-asses sisters of battle dangling by their granny panties. Squad Nexus, rivals to Rachala and her sisters-in-arms, had used chains and hooks to drag a whole twenty imperial guardswomen by their granny panties. Speed had already torn their pants off, which meant their forty buttocks had to endure a sea of cold soil and thousands of tiny thorns.
"Not bad" chuckled Apana while melting a saint's statue with her plasma gun.
"We can do better" snarled Rachala "Where is the Almost-Ascended?"
"At the big cathedral I think" said Olayin, trying to hide the fact that she had been the only member of the squad to get a wedgie (not at the hands of the Imperials, but a rival from squad Nexus) "The Imperials are trying to resist there"
"Then that's where we are going!" said Rachala.
--
The Almost-Ascended was the current leader of the Red Eyes. Half astartes, half daemon, she stood nearly eleven feet tall, a monster of great wings, curved horns and a savage beauty every single astartes under her command was envious of. A group of her chosen tried to keep up as she tore through the Imperial's last line of defence, a mixture of Imperial militia, guardswomen and those sisters of battle the raptors had not deal with yet.
A commissar, dark-haired and with a perfect hourglass figure, tried to charge at her. The Almost-Ascended broke the human's pathetic chainsword with a single swing, then froze her in place with her dark eyes. For a moment, the commissar tried to resist, one eye twitching as rivers of sweat poured down her forehead. Slowly though, her fingers began to move down, slid down the skirt of her outfit and then flew up, taking with them a sea of pink cotton and red hearts.
"Atomic" ordered the Almost-Ascended and the commissar complied. Her tall hat added a few extra inches to the blade sinking into the young woman's crack. The Chaos leader did not wait to watch her falling to her knees, sobbing as she begged for the Empress's mercy. Defeating pathetic losers like these would never grant her the full ascension she was seeking. She needed bigger targets, paladins worthy of their name...
--
Sorceress Runira winced as a needle of pain stabbed her brain. Around her, twenty astartes continued to have fun spanking the sobbing nobles of the planet's astropath choir. Runira herself had left their leader in a tight gift-wrap, with her now-purple ass mooning the chaos psyker. A sight like that should have brought a smile to the pale sorceress's lips.
It did not work. Runira knew something was wrong, just like she knew the invasion of Piscina II would be a piece of cake. It was her prediction which sent the Red Eyes to this place, to plunder and have fun. Runira even went as far as to tell her leader how she would find a worthy foe on the planet's surface.
And that was what made her nervous. This place had nothing but retired dorks, far past their prime, and imperial losers with little training and very stretchy granny panties. How could the Almost-Ascended find a rival in a place like this one? Finding no answer within the astropath palace, Runira walked out to the balcony, the lenses of her pale helmet ignoring the burning city at her feet to face the sky instead...
...Which was where she spotted the first red dots. Was her helmet malfunctioning again? Runira smacked its side and the dots grew larger, more detailed. The traitor's yellow eyes widened behind her helmet.
"Oh no...no..." she whimpered, clenching her large astartes buttocks "Not this again. By the pantheon, not them!"
"Sorceress? Is something wrong?" asked one of the astartes under her command.
"We...We need to warn the others, now!"
"Warn them of what?"
"The Blood Angels! They are coming!" squealed Runira at the top of her lungs.
Originally written by Alv
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