Sabine scowled as Nat plodded lightly into the living room, her lightly tatted arms stretching high into the air as she let off an exaggerated yawn.
Her tiredness was justified, having just woken up from a two hour nap following an extended shift at the ever-overcrowded beauty salon adjacent to the the café Sabine was employed at.
Not that this allowed her any sympathy from Sabine, far from it. Rather it only added to the annoyance seething inside the German girl's eyes. For Nat was, at least since the first introduction of the Random Exchange Virus to the world's populace, one of those irritating people that were cursed to never look bad, no matter how hard they tried.
For starters, Nat's hair was impossibly amazing even for someone who'd supposedly just woken up. It was artificially voluminous and wavy, spilling over her shoulders in long, dark curls with pink tips. Granted, that was one of the perks of having swapped hair with a narcissistic prick like her coworker, Michael, who'd taken meticulous care of shampooing and combing his hair in his vain attempts to seduce (correction: sexually harass) practically every lady in Rotherham.
It wasn't all good news, seeing as it'd taken her six months for her to reprogram it from naturally growing into that ghastly crewcut shape, but- though her scalp was now more prone to dandruff and sudden spells of grease and sweat- considering there was a lot worse that could've happened to her, she'd got off relatively scott-free.
Sabine's eyes trickled downwards, past Nat's hair to admire the rest of her slight frame.
Nat had always had a rounded face, with thin lips and 'lesbian's eyes', as Allie often described them; soft, with a light shimmer that made you either want to smile or cry. A few subtle piercings were scattered around, mostly in her upper and lower earlobes with the most notable one being a tiny ring going through her septum, decorated her head, reaffirming the gothic fashion sense that reigned supreme in this little apartment of three.
Beneath all that she was wearing a mild jumper with some long forgotten 70s punk band's name scribbled obnoxiously across the front, with such a provocatively low neckline that the nipples of her perky C-cups were practically laid bare, pigmented a grimy maroon with a single long loose sleeve. Lower down she wore airy flannel shorts, as well as a pair of comfortable slip on sandals that displayed painted yellow nails through the front.
Nails that, though they did admittedly look pretty, were betrayed by the fact the feet attached to them were ugly and long, like breadsticks that hadn't come out of the oven in due time. Her entire bottom half was the same, long and gangly, and speckled with thin, black hairs that didn't quite mesh with the smooth surfaces of her torso and upper body.
Still, she'd retained quite the feminine sway to her walk, evidenced by the way she sashayed through the murky darkness spilling out from the corridor leading to her and Allie's shared bedroom, making her subtle steps over to the sofa look sultry and alluring even despite her square hips.
"Mind if I sit down?"
Before Sabine could even offer an answer, Nat had pushed her way onto the sofa, shimmying onto Allie's lap before playfully pecking her lover's lips. Sabine cringed as she silently observed both women's hands reach out to brush the other's groin, their matching wedding rings glinting in the pale mustard ambience as they stroked the other's similarly matching set of male genitalia.
"Heilige Scheiße, besorgt euch ein Zimmer...." she tutted, her cheeks flushing as she sipped her tea.
"Sorry for the fright, Sabine," Nat purred, a touch of Allie's spittle still clinging onto her bottom lip. "Just wanted to contribute to the...*yawn*...conversation."
"That you most certainly did," Sabine rolled her eyes.
Nat smirked and nodded towards Allie, saying, "Least it explains why I married her ugly arse, anyways."
"Careful," Allie chuckled wryly, her eyes narrowing as she began wrapping some of Nat's hair around her beefy finger, "I'm built like a brickhouse now, b*tch. One word that I don't like and I bend you like a f*cking...pretzel."
"And that's not just more reason to insult you how...?"
Allie giggled and pulled Nat even closer, her giant hands cradling the back of Nat's head as she proceeded to suckle on her wife's pouting bottom lip. Nat echoed Allie's enthusiasm in tandem and a sensual dance of sorts commenced, with Nat's legs splaying wider atop Allie's lap, her engorged crotch gyrating slowly as Allie's subtle movements bobbed her back and forth in erotic harmony.
Sabine averted her eyes, a normal practice when Allie and Nat began their 'sexy times' in front of her. They had that look in their eyes that indicated that, if not stopped, they'd up and do it right there and then on the couch, whether Sabine was still on it or not.
Luckily for our German protagonist, a diversion soon came to prevent this tragic resolution.
All eyes were cast to the door of the second guest bedroom as boxes loaded with various bits and bobs, still unpacked after months of stubborn inaction from both of the newlyweds, began tumbling down from within. The door slammed open soon after, revealing a very much hung-over David, Nat's best friend and Allie's coworker.
David, like most of the world, had experienced a substantial amount of change over the past year.
Namely he had the beginnings of scraggly beard on his chin, a choice spurned on by his now fiancée, Jess. It evoked a sense of masculinity that the awkward, kinky American boy had never really possessed beforehand.
That made it all the more shameful that attached to his handsome mug was the delicate body of a practically prepubescent girl, cute as a button within his bedazzled pink tee and tight blue shorts.
He yawned loudly and rubbed his eyes as he padded softly past the living room and into the kitchen, ignoring all the three ladies' confused expressions as he stood on his dainty tippy-toes to grab something high up on the counter. Clasped inside one of his little hands was a very adult beer bottle, its contents almost completely depleted, indicating that he'd been holed up inside the shared apartment for quite a while now.
"Ugh..." he groaned, giving up on getting what he wanted. He took two long gulps of his beer to console himself, which probably wasn't the best idea considering how much his little knees trembled.
"David?" Nat asked, turning around in surprise.
Allie's response was a little less calm, with her screeching, "What the f*ck, when did you get in here?!"
"Sh*t...somewhere around two, I think. You, er..." David gestured generally in the air, his tiny fingers indicating absolutely nothing and his eyes tiny, drunken slits, "...You, er...gave me a spare key. Just in case...y'know."
"F*cking hell mate, you look like sh*t!"
"Why, thanks..."
David arm came up as he tried to give his best friend's wife the finger. However, apparently the gesture was too much for his little body as he teetered and swayed dangerously on his feet. Lucky for him Sabine had seen it moments before, and had made her way over to steady him before he crumpled down to the floor.
"Careful," she cooed, "That little body of yours has no tolerance at all."
She guided him back to the sofa where Allie and Nat had thankfully assumed normal seating positions. David thanked her absentmindedly before he rubbed his temples.
"I'm well aware of that, thanks Sabine," he retorted sourly. Sabine rolled her eyes in annoyance as she snatched the beer bottle from David's little hands and swigged the rest of it at his expense.
"The poor, little boy..." Allie pouted, somewhat mockingly. "What was it this time?"
David sighed. "Jess's f*cking Dad came over last night."
Nat and Allie shared a look and simultaneously sucked their teeth.
"What?" Sabine asked, unaware of what was being left unsaid. "What's wrong with him?"
"Well..." David scratched his scalp. "He's not a bad guy, really. It's just... I dunno, he's just a bit clingy. Before, I could barely even get a peep out of him when Jess invited me to dinner with her family. Now, with the divorce and all, he's coming over so often, all chitter-chattering and all, that I barely get a chance to breathe."
"Sure he's not just...y'know..." Nat shivered, "...suddenly liking you because you look like...an underage girl?"
"No!" David blushed and sunk into the chair, twiddling his thumbs in confusion. "Well...n-no, no he couldn't be."
"I'd keep your distance either way," Allie chimed in, shrugging nonchalantly as she put a beefy arm around his shoulder. "Scrawny widdle thing like you could get weally hurt by a strong man like him."
"Shut the f*ck up..." David pushed off Allie's arm, causing her to chuckle quietly to herself. "Anyways, I've left my car keys in Jess's place and there's no way I'm risking another interaction with her old man again to get to work tomorrow."
"Wait, they let a midge like you drive? It really is a mad world..."
"Shut the f*ck up, Allie," Nat snapped. Allie's face drooped. Nat turned back and said, "It's no problem; just hop in with me, Nat and Sabine."
"You're a lifesaver, Allie." David beamed at her until another thought suddenly came to mind. "But, er... I'll admit, I didn't only come here for the sympathy and the car ride."
He furtively pulled down his shorts, revealing a clump of reddened tissues nestled inside.
"Got any tampons, by any chance?"
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