You did your best to try and re-explain yourself to this young woman as she seemed to let her imagination run wild, but she was so stuck in her happy delusions she didn’t even hear you as she breathed heavily all over you with her horribly bad breath. Her dark-brown eyes, with dark circles underneath, were glazed over despite your pleas, and you gave up as she literally started drooling from how excited you had made her.
Sitting in her greasy hands, you were contemplating just jumping and hopefully being able to make a run for it, but unfortunately she chose this moment to suddenly snap out of her stupor and fix her gaze on your trembling body. “Oh my gosh! I HAVE to tell the group about you! They’ll totally flip!”
The woman roughly grabbed one of the trays she had emptied of deep dried food in her binging earlier and set it in front of herself before dropping you in and rummaging through her purse for her phone. You immediately looked for an escape while she was distracted, but realized the sides of the tray were too high/greased to get out… Frustrated, you decided to sit in a less-greasy part of the tray in a huff, which of course NOW she noticed. “What’s wrong little guy? Oh! You must still be hungry, huh? Here you go!” You cringed as she tore off a chunk of half-bitten into burrito, the piece oozing with both grease and sour cream. Of course she noticed your distaste once again. “What, don’t you like burritos? —Oooooh! You must like it grossed up a bit like before, huh? That’s soooo hot! I’ll think of more later, but for now…” You could only stare in horror as the woman chucked the chunk of food into her mouth, masticated it with open mouth gusto to a paste… and leaned over you to drop the whole chewed wad right on top of you straight from her mouth once again… except this time your whole body was buried.
Almost immediately you found you couldn’t really move your arms and legs much under the weight of the slobbery pile, and you were left nearly crying as after a few seconds (punctuated by giggles from your ‘helper’) you realized you were really going to suffocate this time. Screaming and flailing, you were left fighting for your life under an avalanche of chewed burrito, spit, cheese, and sour cream, ending up eating even more of her second-hand food unbidden in your panic… Until the woman’s finger tip suddenly scooped into the food and pushed it away from your face and out of your eyes, leaving nothing but your head exposed and still unable to escape. “Hehe… it’s cute that you want to stay buried in my spittle and all, but be careful little guy, don’t want you to choke!”
You glowered up at her, but even if she was paying attention (which she wasn’t), it would have been hard to see your expression through the food smeared on you.
“Oh hey, what’s your name, by the way?”
You were so out of it, you answered on reflex before realizing you should have kept that information to yourself.
“Oooo, that’s a cute name, but… I think I’ll use something else since you’ll be our mascot from now on!”
Before you could try and fail to talk once more, your eardrums were rocked as she started a live chat, her phone right in front of both of you. You were amazed to see quite a few people check in, profile pictures popping up left and right to show there were quite a few girls in this group, and they were all kind of… “Hey Slobettes! It’s me, Tammy, one of your founding members, with an important announcement!!! How is everyone doing today? Hope you’re showing everyone out there that slobby is sexy! And as if you needed any prooooof, do I have a treat for you!!!”
You cringed as you realized this was a large group of girls who apparently thought being slobs was somehow sexy, and you were now the captive of a founding ‘Slobette’, whatever that was. You cringed even more as Tammy zoomed in on you for a second, then continued on before you could cry for help. “Isn’t he just the cutest! Believe it or not, this little guy is not only my new boyfriend, but our new mascot!!! Yaaay!” All of this was news to you, but you didn’t have any say in the matter as multiple comments and gifs started popping up like mad.
-“No way he’s real!”
-“Whatever it is is kinda cute!”
-“What is he?”
“Alright everyone, I know it’s exciting, let me explain! This little cutie is actually a normal human! How’d he get this small? That’s a seeeecret! But I will tell you, out of everyone in the mall, even with how teeny tiny he is, he picked a big slob like me to present himself to!!!”
-“Whaaaat?”
-“He looks like a bug though…”
-“Why’d he pick you?!”
-“Still doesn’t look real.”
“Okay, okay. Sorry little guy, gotta stop your fun for a second.” Tammy easily pulled you out of the food globule, and unceremoniously licked your entire front with her slobbery tongue to (mostly) clean you off before putting you back in the tray to present you. “See! He’s real! Can you believe they don’t think you’re real?”
You jumped on the chance to speak as Tammy zoomed in on you again. “Yes, I’m real!! And I need—“
“And he needs gross girls like us in his life! Do you know, just to show me he was reeeeally into slobs, he sniffed my stinky feet, let me fart all over him and cover him in my butt sweat, AND has eaten food I’ve chewed up, even sneezed all over, twice! That’s our little Chibi for you! That’s right, his name is Chibi!”
-“He whaaaat?!”
-“Chibi!!!!”
-“You’re sharing, right?”
“Hehehe, I know, he’s great, right? And don’t worry, per our charter, all boyfriends are to be shared as long as they’re into that sort of thing, and believe me, Chibi is into any and ALL slobbiness he can get his little self into! He’s more than enough man to go around, no matter how small!!!”
You try one more time to plead for help, but over all the notifications and Tammy’s talking, no one sees anything but Chibi, their new communal mascot/boyfriend.
“Now, let’s take a look at some of these comments…”
Choices
1. “Hmmm… we have a few Slobettes who don’t believe Chibi is as into slobs as I’m saying! Don’t worry, he already told me he’s more than willing to demonstrate!” (Tammy completely disregards your input and proceeds to ‘prove’ to everyone how perfect of a mascot/boyfriend you’ll be for all of them.)
2. “Now, to be fair and decide who gets to spend time with Chibi first… let’s have a contest! Everyone say what you’d do on a date with Chibi, and the one that he reacts to best will be the winner!!!” (Tammy reads off all kinds of horrible date ideas, and of course whatever one you end up the most grossed out over is the one she thinks you’re ‘most excited’ for.)
3. “Now, Chibi picked me first for a reason, so I’m going to spend some time with him! I’ll let you all know how our day goes, and if you have any tips to help me make it extra special for him, please send a DM!!!” (You get a date with Tammy… whether you like it or not.
4. “Whooooa! Looks like Bonnie is using her rights as Lead Founder to test Chibi out for herself first! Man, you’re lucky Chibi, once you’ve experienced THAT level of slob, you’ll probably never want to leave!” (The worst of all of these slobby girls claims dibs… and let’s just say she’s even more affectionate/delusional than Tammy…)
5. Reader’s Choice
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