The Memoirs of Allen Rodriguez
Hello. My name is Allen Leonardo Rodriguez, my friends call me Lenny. I only have one thing to say. Be careful who you tell your secrets to.
When i was a young boy, i had a very big secret. When i was about 5 years old, my mother liked dressing me up like my twin on Halloween. Mind you i have a twin sister. This went on until my sister started deciding what she wanted to wear for herself. Luckily we were always dressed in unisex costumes. At 5 it was an egg. At 6 it was a UPS box. At 7, when my sister decided she wanted to go as an elf from Rudolf the Red Noses Reindeer my mom said that i could decide next year. Off i went trick-or-treating in a pair of my sisters red tights and a new girls tunic. Mom said it was cheeper to make the costume than to buy one so i now owned a pair of tights, ballet flats, a green girls tunic that went down to my thighs, and a wide belt that cinched everything skintight and gave me a bit of a feminine shape. I oh so wanted to say that i hated the experience but i was so comfortable in the tights and the tunic that after Halloween, i decided to keep them. The tights were warm and the tunic was nice enough to sleep in. My mom said nothing so i figured it was fine. The next Halloween, i got to decide what we would wear. I decided on Spiderman. Well as you can imagine, my sister hated and i mean HATED all things comic book. After that year my mother decided we were old enough to wear our own costumes.
Back to the tights. It always comes back to the tights. My favorite, and only pair of red tights. That is, until i got to high school and i was able to drive away to buy a new set of tights "for my sister" of course. I continued to wear tights until i met the love of my life after college in 1997. We married in 2001 and she gave birth to our one and only son Leonard, we call him Lenny, after me of course.
The following year, things got really heated. It was Lenny's second Halloween as he was born a week ans a half earlier. I got the idea to dress as someone i truly admire, the love of my life, my heart and soul, my rock, my wife, Elena Vasquez Rodriguez. I felt the one thing i could show her was how much i admired her. I did not realize that the woman who saw me that day, October 31, 2003, was no the woman i married. She crushed my soul. I had to sleep at my sister's because she told me that if i ever went back she would do something to put heaven at risk. The next afternoon, my sister called work and said to leave work early as she had something she needed to show me. When i got back to my sisters house she was in tears. Not long after reading the divorce papers, i was also in tears.
Well safe to say the divorce was filed and i did not contest to granting Ellie Full custody of Lenny. She got the house, the car, my life insurance policy, everything. She filed a restraining order so that i could never see her or my son ever again. Well, there is one thing i got. When he turns 18, he will have the oportunity to contact me. If he so chooses. This Halloween marks the 15th anniversary that the divorce was finalized. Cruel fait, but i know in just another year, i get the hope of seeing the man my son has become.
If i could tell him something, i would tell him this: Leonard Alejandro Vasquez Rodriguez, wow, i can't believe you're already 17. It seems like it was only yesterday that i held you in my arms as i sang you to sleep.want you to know that i love you, i miss you, i can't wait to see you. I know that if you are anything like me, i pray for you. Nobody should have to go through the burden of carying a skeleton in their closet. That being said, if you do have any, bury them. Take your secrets to the grave. If you don't, you will spend the rest of your life atoning for everything you thought you knew about yourself begging for forgiveness from the only person in the world you care anything about. You were not a mistake and I still love your mother. I know this is hard but i leave you with this, coming from an exiled crossdresser, toughen up and be a man. Happy Halloween my son.  indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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