You turn your attention to the claimant, the woman who is applying for a court order to have you shrunken down to size so that she can swallow you alive. Ever since you received the summons, you’ve wondered who on Earth would want to do this to you.
To your great surprise, the claimant is a stranger to you.. Although you have seen her around occasionally, you’ve never spoken to her and don’t even know her name. The woman, probably aged in her 30s, is an attractive looking Latino lady, with long curly black hair, attractive features and the softest, most kissable lips you have ever seen. She is also easily the biggest and fattest woman you’ve ever seen in your life. She must easily weigh over 400 lbs. Her massive belly hangs down over her thighs whilst her gargantuan breasts are each larger than your head. This huge woman is watching you closely, her rich brown eyes appraising you in much the same way that a hungry woman might cast an approving eye over a gourmet meal. Understandably, you feel deeply uneasy under her gaze.
The judge calls the court to order and looks at you sternly.
“This court is now in session.” she says. “You are here because the claimant has applied for you to be reclassified as food so she can shrink you and swallow you alive. You will be given the opportunity to defend yourself. I will consider both the claimant’s request to eat you and your defense carefully before I reach my verdict. My decision is final. Do you understand?"
You nod, heart racing.
The judge turns to face your claimant. “Madam, please state your name clearly for the court.”
“Thank you, your honour.” says the huge woman. “My name is Mandy Martinez.”
“Noted.” acknowledges the judge. “Now please present your opening statement to the court. Why do you want to shrink and eat the defendant?”
“Your honour, I am a woman with simple pleasures. I pride myself on an exquisitely sensitive sense of taste and I have made a living for myself as a food critic. Nothing makes me happier than enjoying a particularly fine meal. I have a well-developed palate and enjoy expanding my culinary experiences. I have a particular love of meat and I’ve made it my mission to eat as many different species of animal as possible. I’m proud to say that there are very few animals I haven’t eaten at some time. To date, however, I’ve never had the pleasure of eating a live man.”
“I see.” says the judge. “And may I ask how you know the defendant?”
“I don’t really know him at all, your honour.” Mandy replies. “We live in the same neighbourhood and I’ve seen him around a few times.”
“Why, then, do you feel that the court should rule in your favour? Isn’t it the case that the defendant is an innocent man?”
“He is, your honour, but then this is not a criminal court.”
“A fair point.” concedes the judge, a wry smile playing across her lips.
Mandy Martinez grins as she proceeds with her argument. “Since this isn’t a criminal court, there is no need to establish guilt. My claim isn’t based on the defendant’s guilt or otherwise. My case rests on the inalienable principle at the heart of our society; that women are superior to men and, thus, that women’s desires are more important than men’s rights.”
“Go on.”
“Our society condones the eating of men. In fact, every woman is constantly told how delicious men are. Indeed, the eating of men is positively encouraged, within the law, so that men appreciate the true superiority of women and learn to behave respectfully towards us. Of course, there have to be restrictions, otherwise we would very quickly eat every man we could find. The Vore Court IS that restriction. We are allowed to eat men, but only once we have a court order.”
“We know all this, Ms. Martinez. Please get to the point.” the judge prompts.
“Of course your honour. Put simply, I’ve wanted to eat a man for a very long time. I’ve put in applications to the Vore Court before, but this is the first time my case has been heard. I’ve seen the defendant around and, I think you’ll agree, he looks absolutely scrumptious! He would be the perfect meal, your honour. I think he is wasted, living his normal life, and believe it’s time he became food. As a food critic, I would be sure to savour the experience and my belly would be very appreciative. I respectfully ask that you reclassify this man as my food so I can show him what it REALLY means to be a man in our society.”
“Thank you Ms. Martinez. This is an interesting case and it would seem a shame to deprive you of the opportunity to gobble up this man. I certainly agree that the defendant does, indeed, look particularly delicious. This is a court of law and I am obliged to ensure that we follow due process.” With that, the judge turns to face you.
“You have heard the claimant’s request and you may now respond. I caution you to choose your words with care. I appreciate that these proceedings can be very upsetting for our defendants but we expect you to speak respectfully at all times. If I do not like your tone, I shall have no hesitation in granting the claimant’s request. Now, we appreciate that you do not really know the claimant, but it seems clear that she is passionate about food and about eating you, in particular. What would you like to say at this stage?”
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