Now that your vision had stopped swimming and you had taken in your surroundings, you were sure you must be seeing things. If you trusted your eyes, you had shrunken down and landed on the table you were just about to clean. Judging by the pizza crumb beside you, which was more like a small mountain, you were positively minuscule. What happened? you wondered, panicking a little bit. Soon enough, a series of tremors shook the table and cut your panic attack short. When you turned around, you were awestruck by the sight before you.
Natalie was standing in the threshold of the kitchen, a cup of root beer in each hand, and she was taller than anything you'd ever seen in your life. The monumental goddess stood there for a moment surveying the room. Any thought of asking her out was gone from your mind now that she was big enough to unwittingly snuff you out with her pinkie finger; all you could think about was getting her attention.
From your perch on the table, you began jumping up and down, waving your arms, screaming "Down here!" at the top of your lungs; anything to get her to notice you. Then, Natalie shouted your name. Her voice was a loud, deep rumble that was almost enough to burst your eardrums, but even worse, this meant she hadn't seen you. Of course, you thought to yourself, I'm microscopic. There's no way she can see me from there.
Natalie's smile fell and she sighed, "Aw man. He said he would stay and help..." You felt bad for a moment, but then you remembered that there was no way you could help at your current size. You couldn't even move a single crumb, and the paper plate closest to you was more like a country at this scale.
Natalie brought one of the cups of root beer to her lips and downed an ocean's worth in one sip. Then, she started walking towards the table. Tremors from her footsteps shook the ground once more, and soon she was looming over you. From far away she looked huge, but up close she was impossibly tall. Forget about her pinkie; even a single hair off her head could've crushed you. She set down the other cup of root beer, which would've dwarfed even Mount Everest. Her modest breasts blocked your view of her face, but you could tell she was figuring out where to start cleaning.
Your heart skipped a beat when her eyes locked directly on you. You were determined to get her attention and started waving your arms again, and to your great joy, she stooped down to take a closer look. Her eyes were level with the table and you knew she must be able to see you from there. You were so overjoyed, it took you a moment to notice her index finger descending towards you.
Your joy turned to fear as the digit approached and crashed right behind you. She dragged it straight towards you, and you were too shocked to get out of the way. The finger swept you up, along with a bunch of crumbs, and caught you in one of the massive ridges on her fingerprint. Once she was satisfied, Natalie brought the finger up to her eye to examine it. You were face to, well, eye with her enormous, stunning gray iris. There was no denying she was looking at you now. "Be careful!" you yelled, "You could've squished me!" She opened her mouth, and the words that came out made your heart drop:
"Look at all these crumbs."
That was it, then. You were just a crumb to her. Less than that, in fact. She hadn't seen you at all, even now. She was just looking at the crumbs this whole time.
Now it was your stomach's turn to drop, as she brought her finger down to her lips. Despite their massive size, her lips still looked soft and luscious, like a pair of continent-spanning cherry blossoms. At your normal size, you longed to kiss these lips, but now they terrified you. She pursed them and you could tell what was coming next.
Hurricane force winds buffeted her fingertip and sent you and the crumbs rocketing off and back onto the table. You crash landed in the middle of one of the enormous playing cards (the Queen of Hearts) and once you had dusted yourself off, you sat there and sized up your options:
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