(Takes place pre-time skip during the Golden Deer route, on a free day in Month 12 between the end of Chapter 8 and the Winter Ball. Expect spoilers accordingly.)
"Ugh... my head..."
Claude awoke- or, more accurately, was dragged into consciousness by the searing pain in his temples. He blinked several times, his blurry vision keeping him from being able to identify his surroundings. All he knew for sure was that his head hurt, the world was far too bright for his eyes, and that something smelled amazing... and yet, familiar.
"Where am I?" Claude groaned as he struggled to piece together how he got here... wherever this place was. "Last thing I remember... I was at the library researching relics... and I found... something..."
"Claude!" a deep voice called out in the distance. "Yo! Guys! I found Claude!"
Claude's vision and wits started to barely return to him as he spotted Raphael running towards him, followed closely by Ignatz and Lorenz.
"Hey guys," Claude waved to his housemates, wincing and barely opening his eyes in deference to his still present headache. "What's going on?"
"Have you gone blind?!" Lorenz balked, his normally snide voice containing a very noticeable undercurrent of panic that Claude had never heard from him before. "Look around you!"
Powering through the pain, Claude forced his eyes open and took his first proper look around since waking up. They were on a massive white plain that seemed to be made out of some kind of linen. Next to them was a massive porcelain structure hundreds of times their size. If he didn't know better, Claude would swear it was a giant tea cup.
He turned around. Looming far in the distance was a great tower stacked with what seemed to be enormous cookies and scones just before the great white plain seemed to end with an abrupt cliff drop. At this sight, Claude was finally able to place where he'd smelled this delicious smell before- from Professor Byleth's tea parties that she would hold for her students on their birthdays or if they had done well in class or battle, and occasionally for students in other houses that she was not-so-subtly trying to recruit.
"So, we're surrounded by giant food," Claude observed, deciding that he was having a fever dream and rolling with it. "Raphael, this has to be the best day of your life."
"It kind of is!" Raphael agreed cheerfully.
"The food's not giant!" Ignatz yelled. "We're..."
Ignatz was cut off as a loud boom echoed behind Claude. The other three looked up and began backing away with varying levels of fear. Swallowing nervously, Claude turned around, only to see a very familiar amulet surrounded by two of the largest breasts he had ever seen. He craned his neck up, and his jaw drop in shock as he took in the impossibly giant visage of Professor Byleth.
Her expressionless face framed by long green hair was visible in more detail than Claude had ever seen before. Her eyes were focused on the teacup next to them as she poured from an equally giant teapot, the normally quiet sound of the tea meeting the cup echoing like an oppressive waterfall.
"Teach!" Claude snapped out of his stupor and called up to her. "Hey! TEACH!"
"Don't bother," Ignatz sighed. "We all yelled to her when she was setting up the table. We're way too small for her to hear us."
As if to further prove his point, Byleth lifted the teacup and took a sip as if nothing was wrong in the world, completely oblivious to the tiny quartet watching her from the table.
"Hmmm," her voice echoed, lower and more sonorous with her giant size. "Not my favorite blend. It could use more sugar..."
Claude turned to the others. "Okay... any idea how this happened?"
"I was assuming this was one of your idiotic schemes gone awry," Lorenz said with a sneer. "I seem to recall an incident with a shrinking potion..."
"Nah," Claude shook his head. "It wouldn't have made us this small. Besides, I threw it out after what happened last time." He frowned as he considered the situation. "I hate to say it, but this must be someone trying to get rid of us. I mean, a lot of weird stuff has been happening, and creeps like Jeritza, Tomas, and that Flame Emperor guy keep getting into the monastery."
"And whether we plan to or not, Golden Deer keeps getting caught up in it," Ignatz said.
"And kickin' their butts," Raphael added.
"Yeah," Claude pointed to the two in agreement. "We're probably a thorn in a lot of people's sides. Which is awesome, but not when it leads to something like this..."
"CLAUDE!" a tiny, feminine voice called out from a great distance.
"Wait..." Claude looked around. "Was that..."
"I see the girls!" Ignatz exclaimed. "They're on the dessert tray!"
"Hey, good eye, Ignatz," Claude praised. Now that he was concentrating on it, he could see some of the female contingent of the Golden Deer trapped on the scones in the distance.
Scones that a normal sized person could come and eat at any moment. Claude frowned as the implications set in.
"Okay, that's not a great place for them to be. We need a plan. Lorenz, you..."
"It is a noble's duty to aid those in peril!" Lorenz interrupted, already running for the tray. "Fear not, ladies! I am coming to save you!"
"Lorenz, you ass..." Claude muttered as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Okay, I guess Lorenz is going to save the girls, and I'm going to follow him to make sure he doesn't get crushed or eaten. You two get Teach's attention and let her know what happened."
"Wait," Raphael held up his hand. "How are we supposed to..."
"Good luck!" Claude took off after Lorenz. Ignatz continued to stare at the tower of food as Raphael put a hand on his shoulder.
"C'mon, Ignatz, I know you're worried about them, but those two have this. Let's figure out how to get the Professor to..."
"I can only see three of the girls from here," Ignatz noted worriedly. "I wonder where the fourth one is..."
"Ah," Byleth finally spoke again, a small smile gracing her features. "I'm glad you could join me."
"Thanks for inviting me, Professor," a second voice boomed as Byleth's normal sized guest sat at the other end of the table, directly within reach of the dessert tray.
"Oh no..." Ignatz muttered as he looked up at the giant face of...   indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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