I don’t normally visit family restaurants for eye candy -- though tonight could change my mind. But I’ve really been here 20 minutes waiting for an unusual date. At a place he picked, too.
More than a few of my ex-boyfriends would describe the wood panelling in this Applebee’s as hideous (and be right about it) but from my vantage point at the central bar, the view is fantastic. At my 3 o’clock is a booth with two extra frat guys stuffed in. They might have fit comfortably, 30 lbs ago, but that only applies to the skinny redhead, wedged between two chubby blondes.
A table in the back has just two guys -- and 20 plates. The endless app special is truly a magical thing.
The bartender brings me my second drink -- a shot of scotch on the rocks -- and I start to wonder why I’m still here.
I keep my Grindr account active out of… I don’t know, social obligation? Gun to my head, I honestly couldn’t put a reason to it. I’m a Grommr guy when I can, Growlr when I have to. I love guys who love carbs. I love to cook a man steak and watch him savor it. To cook a man a stack of pancakes in the morning and have him eat faster than I can get them off the griddle is my idea of an ultimate breakfast. I can NOT get enough of a good belly.
But I got the telltale ding of a Grindr message one day and opened it up. The profile pic was a cute enough guy, WAY too skinny for me, but his opening message was the ultimate bait. Like many a nerd, I had an obscure quote begging to be decoded in my headline, and he responded with a call and response joke -- from another of my favorite shows. So I messaged back, and we got to chatting, and we hit it off. We like all the same shows. He gets my dry sense of humor (even through texting, which is tricky) and he’s nice -- like he actually wants to know how my day went the next time we talked.
So I’m trying not to be shallow, because here real boyfriend material just drops into my lap and I’m cautious because he’s 60 lbs and 5 years shy of anything I would have searched for. And that’s why I’m still here, even though he’s now 25 minutes late.
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