So, here's something you might find surprising about me; I hate sitting still!
I know, I know, you look at me (all of me) and think "how can that possibly be true?"
Thing is, even when I was sitting on my fat ass for hours on end back at prep school, there was still stuff to occupy my time. Classes to study for, books to read, television to watch, and snacks (oh, the snacks). I had access to precisely none of these time-occupiers as various production assistants checked the lighting, applied makeup to me, adjusted the mic they clipped to my shirt, and a million other things that needed to be done before the interview could happen.
That's right. I, Melanie Carlyle, fatass extraordinaire, was about to make my television debut.
Sitting across from me undergoing similar preparations was Joy Jones, the lady who was going to be asking me questions. I had to admit, she looked pretty sharp wearing a dark blue blazer, a pencil skirt that matched it, a white blouse, and heels. She was kind of pudgy, true, but her outfit made it work for her somehow. As opposed to me, who'd come over here in the biggest yoga pants I could find and a t-shirt that covered my fat gut if I didn't raise my arms up too high. I will admit to feeling a little self-conscious; I wasn't ashamed of my size, but I didn't want to appear too slovenly on TV, ya know?
After what felt like a million years, they finally had everything in place. All the production assistants cleared off of the set, the camera guy gave a countdown, the lights turned on, and I could hear the important-sounding jingle that served as a theme song for the local news station that had put this whole thing together.
"Hi, I'm Joy Jones, for Channel 5 News, and today I'm here with Melanie Carlyle," Joy said, slipping easily into her reporter persona without missing a beat.
Oh, before we continue, I suppose I should let you know just what this interview was actually about.
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