At his insistence, the crowd of grease-painted thugs parted slightly. A pale, spritely woman with two pigtails—one red and one black—sauntered past the party guests hugging the floor. She was dressed in a curious combination of clothes, all red and black, that hugged her lean figure and exposed her ghastly white skin. She had a big blue box on her back, held by two leather straps over her shoulders, and something big and powerful. Lugging all that around looked to be too much for the slight slip of a woman.
“Sure thing Puddin’!” she announced with a thick Jersey accent as she struggled with her load, “Just… gimme a minute… woof this thing’s heavy…”
Finally, the Joker’s woman made it over to them. Now that it was closer, Mackenzie could clearly see that the big powerful part of her ‘present’ was very similar to a handgun in design, just made much larger. The barrel was exposed over the top half, and made with wire framing.
“Officer Sennett meet Harley, Harley meet Officer Sennet.” Joker said with a smile, “Harley, this is the woman that we went to all that trouble of making our little gift for! Now, you’ll go with me on this right? Doesn’t her name sound… familiar?”
“Hmm…” Harley dropped the big gun on its butt and leaned up against it, touching her white chin with a black glove, “Ya know, I think you’re right Mistah Jay! Her name does sound familiar!”
The two of them stood there for a second, making contemplative noises as the crowd watched in delayed agony.
“I’ve got it: A Noise from the Deep, that old movie from 19-whatever!” Harley snapped her fingers excitedly, her baby blues widening with deceptive innocence, “Anyone ever tell you you got the same name as that old comedian Mack Sennett?”
“N-No…” Mackenzie sobbed, “Please, I… I don’t know what you’re—“
“That’s it!” Joker barely tried to hide his malevolence, despite his chipper tone of voice, “And, tell me again darling, what was that old duffer famous for again?”
“P-Please, I just want to go home…”
“Mistah Jay, I’m surprised at you!” Harley put her hands on her hips playfully, her head tilting to the side in mock disappointment, “Mack Sennett was the guy who made the pie in the face gag!”
Joker smacked his forehead again.
“Oh darling I do believe you’re right!” Joker said in incredulous shock, “Silly me, how could I forget? Such a timeless classic—think about it now, Officer. You’re at this party right, when suddenly some guy dressed up as a clown pops out of the cake and throws a pie at your face! It’s so deliciously funny I can’t even begin to think how such a thing could even come to be… oh wait.”
Harley and the Joker laughed, throwing their heads back in obviously staged laughter that devolved into malicious maniacal giggling. It frightened the whole room. A whole ballroom filled with seasoned cops and veterans on the force, feeling their hearts skip a beat at the sound of two people dressed up as clowns (rather, undressed in one case), completely helpless to help their newest partner.
“Now, like all the classics, I’m going to give you the gift that keeps on giving, dollface.” Joker turned his attention back to Officer Sennett, “Harley and I worked really hard on your present. So you’re going to have to lie and tell us you like it, even if you really don’t. So-ree!”
“We’re that couple.” Harley stuck out her tongue as she dropped the big blue backpack to the floor, “Just gimme a minute sweetie, I’ll be right with ya!”
Harley bent over, giving everyone in the room a good look at her tight toned ass, as she rummaged through the backpack. It didn’t take long for her to return to the conversation, coming back with a pie tin with a plastic lid over the top. She removed the container’s top half and took a deep whiff.
“Mm! Banana Crème!” she said dreamily, “Mistah Jay and I spent weeks slaving over a hot rocket launcher while those stupid chemists spent weeks getting threatened by a hot rocket launcher to get this recipe just right!”
Harley picked up the gun with surprising ease (the backpack must have been the heavy part) and rested it on her shoulder. With her free hand, she placed the pie on the wire barrel and pulled back on something on the handle—apparently loading the strange device.
Mackenzie’s tears only grew hotter and thicker as they rolled down her face.
“Oh look Poo, Mack here likes it so much she’s crying!” Joker guffawed, “Well, if what those brainiacs told me was true, you’re going to like our little gift so much, that’s all you’ll be able to think about!” Joker whipped back to Harley, “Give it to ‘er, girl!”
“You got it!” a little scope popped out of the side as Harley lined her sight with it, “I’d say hold still, but… y’know. The rope.”
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