"The saddest thing for a girl to do is to dumb herself down for a guy."
"If men don't have to control, women won't have to be controlled."
- The woman you just clicked on
---
"Hello, sir! Pleasure to meet you! Thank you for the kind words!"
Emma Watson entering your apartment. It was a dream come true. It did occur under some rather strange circumstances, but then again, it takes a very strange set of circumstances indeed for the famous young actress to show up at an average man's door...
It had not been long after Watson had made her speech to the United Nations on the topic of feminism and the organization's newly created HeForShe campaign for gender equality. With the speech drawing both praise and criticism in substantial amounts, you decided to add your voice to the discussion. Watson being the refined British lass that she is, you decided to dust off your old fashioned penmanship skills and send her a hand-written letter expressing your support for and agreement with the views expressed in her speech. Rather boldly, you ended your letter with an invitation for her to meet you at your apartment in order to discuss relevant issues relating to the movement in greater depth.
The reason for that boldness was not so innocent, however; You had always had a penchant for concocting strange chemical mixtures in your spare time, the kind of experiments even the most daring of professional chemists wouldn't touch. One evening, through a combination of chemicals you obtained not entirely legally (Hey, all's fair in love and science, right?), you wound up creating a stable mixture with a light pink hue, pheremone-like qualities, and a rather pleasant, fruity smell. Upon further testing (i.e. spraying around the complex wherever you could sneak it in), you found that the mixture's sole effect was to induce a strange reaction in human females, causing them to behave in a more traditionally feminine way than normal. For instance, the rather standoffish woman who lived a floor below you started acting much more open and demure in the days after you initiated testing, while your female landlord, who was normally quite tight-fisted, was suddenly much more patient with you, and had developed a sudden interest in baking that fortunately meant several offers of free, freshly baked sugar cookies. It was truly a scientific miracle.
Compared to your other, more exciting (read: more explosive) creations, this new concoction was rather mundane, and you didn't intend to use the compound for much more than personal amusement and enrichment. That all changed, however, when you saw a news report on Ms. Watson's speech. Having always been rather mischievous and a fan of black comedy, you couldn't resist the urge to attempt to turn the woman who had now become one of the most visible feminist figures in the world into someone a bit more... domesticated.
Dowsing the letter in copious amounts of the chemical (Luckily, the stationary was already a similar shade of pink), you stuffed it into an envelope and delivered it to her address (which took a bit of personal sleuthing to uncover. You were certainly known for going to great lengths merely for the sake of a joke.)
Honestly, you knew in the back of your mind it was a pretty big lark. The address might have been bunk. It might have gotten lost in the mail. A mail carrier or one of Watson's handlers might have thought in was from some crazy who laced the letter with cyanide, even though you did your best to make it look harmless. It was all a shot in the dark, really. As much work as you put into your practical jokes, you never gave them much thought after the deed was done.
Which is why you lit up when you not only found a personalized return letter from Watson in your mailbox, but saw that the letter gave a specific date and time for when Ms. Watson would come to visit incognito (She specifically stressed that this was in fact a private meeting, not a PR stunt. What a relief.) The chemical worked: Emma Watson had been compelled into acquiescing to your rather silly demand.
On the date in question, you brewed a new batch of the compound as fast as you could and practically coated your apartment in what remained of the first batch. Oddly enough, it made the place smell quite a bit nicer than usual.
It was around mid-afternoon when Ms. Watson made her entrance. While well-disguised in sunglasses and a hooded coat, she removed her coverings to reveal an exquisite pink dress underneath. Wowed by her wonderfully feminine presence, you were quick to invite her in.
"Oh, I hope the flight wasn't too much trouble! Thank you again for your visit! I feel so blessed to be given this chance to speak with you!" you said
"It was nothing at all!" she said brightly, "I'm quite busy though, so I must ask, what did you have in mind to discuss?"
"Well, I actually had a rather clever idea." you said, "You made it a point in your speech that current gender roles were too stifling for both men and women. What if, as a little thought experiment, we acted out those gender roles for a little bit? You know, to point out their patent ridiculousness?"
Not the strongest hook, but the air was thick with the chemical, and Watson's body language was only becoming more compliant and accommodating. "That sounds brilliant!" she said eagerly, "What did you have in mind?"
"Well..."
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