I barely remember anything else of that day. The most I remember is that I was watching TV right before it all began, and that Linda had gone out for groceries.
What started it all for me was a knock on the door, and I got up from the couch expecting it to be Linda, probably needing help with the bags. However, upon opening the front door, I was met with anything but my slender wife.
It was a woman clad in a tight brown delivery outfit, her eyes a bright green and her hair a silky brown. What stood out about her, however, was her size. She stood at least 6'4", but most of all was incredibly fat. Probably 400 pounds, her sit still leaving a part of her belly exposed.
"Mornin', mister! How're you farin', today?" She greeted in a minnesotan accent, breaking me out of my stare.
"Oh…uh, fine!" I stammered. "Sorry, I just wasn't expecting anybody today…"
"Not a problem, sir!"
"Yeah…so, is this a delivery? I dunno if my girlfriend ordered anything, but-"
"Oh, this isn't a delivery! I'm just givin' out free samples."
"Oh, free samples? Of what?"
"Sizemore Chocolates!" She replied in a boastful tone, stepping aside for a box sitting behind her. "Wouldja be interested in a box?"
"Chocolates? Huh…" I wasn't much of a chocolate person, but I knew Linda was. "This isn't gonna cost me anything, is it?"
"Like I said, free samples!"
"Well…eh, why not?"
"Alright, thanks a bunch, sir!" She lifted the box from the ground and held it out for me. "Hope you enjoy!"
"Yeah, thanks!" I replied as I claimed the box. It sounded like it was filled with candy bars, but I had no idea the true potential of what lay inside.
"Oh, but before I go…" She pulled out a slip of paper from her breast pocket, which she stuck on the box's lid. "That's a subscription form for out chocolate of the week system. Just in case yer wantin' more!"
"Well, again, thanks!"
"No prob. See ya 'round!" With that, she waddled off down the walkway. I didn't really see her off as I walked back inside.
Setting the box on the dining room table, I flipped open the lid, curious as to what lay inside. Sure enough, dozens of wrapped candy bars sat inside, far more than anything I'd consider a free sample.
I took one out to examine it. It was wrapped in a purple cover on aluminum foil, but what caught my interest (and suspicion) was that there was no nutritional facts. There was an ingredient list, but the only thing listed was "Damn good chocolate".
I cocked my eyebrow, curious as to what catch there might be to the treat...
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