You noticed the smell of BO before anything else, the stench practically billowing into the subway car as the doors open. You expect to see a pack of football players step inside, but instead a lone girl does. Though you can't quite believe it, when the doors close behind her and the smell only intensifies, you know you have the source.
The girl is tall and tan, her brown hair pulled back into a ponytail. You can't help but think that she was probably a cheerleader in highschool, and though she's definitely had a touch of the freshman 15 (her sizable breasts and butt, not to mention a bit of chub here and there, is packed into a pair of yoga pants and a sports bra that leaves her slight muffin top exposed), you commend her on apparently trying very hard to re-capture her figure... You just wish she didn't SMELL so bad!
Unfortunately her eyes meet yours before you can look away from her sweat-drenched body, a smile flashing on her face as she makes her way to you. The smell of her BO only intensifies with her proximity, reaching it's peak as she sits across from you in the booth-style seats, her knees slightly grazing yours. "Wooo, nothing beats a good workout, right?"
You do your best to ignore the smell and smile politely, hoping that if you look out the window you won't have to interact with her much... But of course you'll have no such luck.
You hear the woman sniff a few times, prompting you to look back at her, giving her the opportunity to start a conversation. "I don't know what my friend is always complaining about... I can't hardly smell a thing! The sweat isn't that bad, is it?"
You want to tell her she smells worse than a pig, but your politeness takes hold before you can do so. "N-nah, I didn't even notice..."
"I know, right? Hehe, she's so silly. I mean, she told me once that my BO could clear a room, and if someone were ever to get a whiff of my feet out of these gym shoes they'd pass out!" You really don't like imagining what this girl is talking about, sure her friend is right, but after another moment or two you don't have to imagine as she suddenly takes off both her shoes! You watch in horror as a horrendously dirty, sweat-dripping pair of sock clad feet are revealed, the stench getting so bad suddenly it's all you can do not to plug your nose. "See? It's nowhere NEAR that bad! I mean, get a good whiff!"
You open your mouth to tell her you don't need to, only to have the woman shove her feet in your face... You can only WISH you would pass out as the woman actually rubs her feet into your face in her eagerness to give you a "good whiff", sweat smacking and feet squelching with every wiggle and smear of her foot. Of course she shoves her toes into your mouth whenever you open it to tell her to stop, the whole time blissfully unaware to the hell you're in until she FINALLY puts her feet back down, deciding to keep off her shoes for now to your disbelief.
"See? I think I even bumped my foot against your nose a few times, and you look more awake than what you did when I got on! Hehehe, thanks a lot! I was actually starting to believe her for a second there... But now I don't have to throw away these sneakers; I've had them for 5 years now!" You can only cringe, wanting to yell at the woman but more eager for this woman to just stop talking to you to go through with it. Unfortunately, instead of her lapsing into silence or getting off at the next stop, she takes this as a sign that she can keep talking to you!
"You know what else she said?" You open your mouth to tell her you don't care, but she talks right over you, apparently VERY happy to have found a "friend" to complain to and prove her other friend wrong with... "She said..."
1. "...that I could feed someone 'til they're full with my toe-jam and I'd still have some left over!"
2. "...that if anyone were to lick my armpits, their tongue would shrivel up and fall off!"
3. "...that if I farted in someone's face, it'd be like a "normal" person taking a dump on them!"
1. "I bet she was wrong about my toe-jam being enough for a full course meal too!"
2. "I bet she
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