You'd always been jealous of Marcus. He was bigger than you, more handsome, more popular, and oh yeah he got a massive cock to boot. While your own meat was a smidge above average in both length and girth, his was an absolute monster of a package complete with pendulous balls and widely flared head. You'd caught glimpses of it a few times in the gym shower room, back when you and your brother were members of the same gym, but seeing it erect and in action was something else entirely. You had to take it from him, he couldn't get everything.
Leaping from the closet swinging a massive sword, Marcus let out a scream surprisingly high pitched for his build and scrambled backwards across the bed on his hands and butt, legs trying and failing to gain purchase on the puffy blanket. His legs spread wide, his package was completely open. Plunging the sword between his legs, you manage to not only sever his cock and balls in one neat package, leaving only a smooth and well defined stump behind with scruffy patch of short pubic hairs above it, but you do so without so much as cutting a notch into either of his flailing legs. You'd either made a one in a million strike, or part of the sword's magic was improving the aim and/or swordsmanship of its wielder considerably.
Marcus finally managed to scramble himself to the opposite side of the bed, his arms sailing through the empty air and sending him head over heels spinning backwards. He landed in a heap of flailing limbs, but managed to right himself quickly enough. "WHAT THE FUCK?!" he cried, looking at you, the sword, and his severed junk. Then, he noticed the lack of blood, the smooth stumps, and the fact that he could still feel his detached package laying on the bed. "What the fuck?" He asked, significantly calmer if equally confused. He looked up at you, throwing his arms out. "What the fuck?!" he demanded, his voice somewhere between his last two questions.
"To cut a long schlong short..." You say, laying the flat of the longsword on your shoulder and casually picking up Marcus dick and balls by the base. You had no idea what you were doing or what had gotten into you, you'd only realized now just how insane everything you'd done so far had been, but realizing you were in way too deep to back down now you decided to just own the absurdity of the situation and act like this was all part of the plan. "I found a sword. It's magic. It can cut stuff off without hurting it."
"I... suppose I can't argue with that." Marcus said, his thighs tensing as he felt your hands on him from across the room. "And you decided that you wanted to hide in my closet, watch me jerk off, and cut off my cock because...?"
"I didn't know you were gonna jerk off!" You replied, more flustered than you'd have liked. "Who the hell jerks off right AFTER a shower? That makes no sense! You jerk off before or during!"
"You would know, jerk off." Marcus said, crossing his arms and smiling that goddamned confident smile of his. Even when you had him by the balls, it seemed like he was always the one in control.
"Whatever! I just wanted to surprise you with my cool new sword, but then you pulled your dick out and it got me thinking. You got the height, you got the looks, you got the muscles, you got it all! I deserve some of the genetic winnings, and so I'm taking this bad boy and attaching it to myself." You said, dropping your pants and revealing your own slightly above average package. You were a bit embarrassed by the fact that you were still erect from watching Marcus beat it, but you brushed the idea aside as you prepared to operate. Soon, this would be Marcus' problem.
"Oh, really?" Marcus asked, genuinely intrigued. "If you're taking my dick, can I have yours?"
"I... are you serious?" You ask. There was no way he was serious, he had to be pulling something.
"Dead serious!" He said, nodding. "Trust me, that thing is no 'genetic winning'. It's inconvenient as hell walking around with that thing, it sticks out on my gym shorts like a sore thumb and makes me look like a perv even when I'm just going about my business, and it's just a big fat pain in my ass. Or, rather, my boyfriend's ass."
"You're gay?!" You ask, knowing Marcus only as the brother who brought a different girl home every other week.
"Oh. Yeah. Sorry, I guess I forgot to tell you guys." He said, appearing sheepish for the first time that you can remember. "I sort of figured it out in college. Like, I had no problem picking up chicks, but I always felt like I was just going through the motions with them. We'd date, we'd talk, occasionally we'd screw, but it all felt so hollow. I always thought it was just like, depression or something. Or maybe relationships just weren't for me. Maybe I'd spend my whole life alone, unloved and incapable of giving love. And then I met Scott and... yeah. Turns out I'm just gay."
"I... uh. wow." You said, having no idea that Marcus had been going through such troubles. That he didn't have a carousel of women coming home with him because he was a stud, but because he couldn't develop a bond with them and thought that there was something deeply wrong with him. "So, uh... you sure you're cool with me taking this thing?"
"So long as you give me yours, yeah! I'd love to finally give it to Scott rather than always being on bottom." He said proudly.
"Dude, TMI." You said waving his own dick at him. You both laughed at that, and when you calmed down a bit you set his dick on the bed and brought the sword to your crotch, ready to make the trade.
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