You are KARKAT FUCKING VANTAS and you do not have time for those silly choices. What nooklicker needs to choose for you how you keep managing to gain weight? None of them, that's who. Because it's a fact that no choices will change, you have gained weight. Quite a bit, actually.
At first, he'd just brushed it off as clothes shrinking in the wash, or maybe someone fucking around with him using the alchemizer. Another pair of pants that he can't manage to button up, so what? Nobody cares about any stupid wrigglerish obsessions with whether or not he can button his pants up. Least of all, himself.
But now it's the last straw. He's standing in front of the mirror, and his pants are literally cutting into his belly. Since when did he have a belly? Sure, it was just a little thing right now, a bit of a curve budging out from his torso, but that's always where it starts. Then that little bit of belly brings along some friends, and he'll never get any of his pants to fit right. And then he's no longer Karkat Vantas, he's Karkat FatAss.
Maybe he's getting ahead of himself.
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